Archive of ‘Life Without A Manual’ category

Vaccine Day!

It has been quite a year, hasn’t it? I know because the Facebook memories that pop up for me lately are quite telling. In January, my entire family went to dinner to celebrate Jenna’s birthday. The following month, we did it all over again for mine. At the end of February, Scott and I had box seats at the Flyers game. We sat at center ice and marveled at how we could see all the action right in front of us as the wait staff served us beer and sandwiches. Basically, we enjoyed how the other half lives.

I’m pretty sure that was the night I got COVID. I still remember sitting elbow to elbow with fellow hockey fans. We screamed and shouted into the crowd at each goal and penalty. Exchanging high fives with strangers was the norm. We passed everyone’s food down the aisle and then passed cash back to the waitress. It was definitely not a social-distanced event (not that it would have been at that point).

At the beginning of March, I was sicker than I had been in my entire life. While I was never officially diagnosed with COVID-19 (because testing was not easily accessible early on), I had a nasty cough and congestion, awful headaches, no sense of taste or smell, and total exhaustion. I could barely speak on the phone with my family and friends because my voice was shot. I just slept and coughed and tried to do all the things that needed to get done. It took me three weeks to fully recover, and because I didn’t have shortness of breath or a high fever (thank goodness), this probably would be considered a mild case of the virus.

As the outside world shut down and the kids switched to online learning, and no one knew what to believe; I wrote this in one of my blog posts:

“It feels like a typical Saturday, but it is anything but typical. Right now, all I want to do is go out to dinner with friends. I don’t want to cook. I don’t want to clean up. I don’t want to order takeout. I want to sit in a restaurant, order a drink and catch up with people.”

Not much has changed. And little did I know that it would be a year before any of us would start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The vaccine is now available, and because I’m nowhere near my goal weight right now, I’m eligible. And after weeks of trying to get an appointment, I found out yesterday that it was my turn to receive the first dose.

I’ve never seen so many people happy to get a shot in the arm. It was easy to see the big smiles behind the face masks. People took selfies with the medical staff and in the observation room. There was finally some joy to be had by all.

Soon, we will all be able to hug our friends and family, eat out instead of takeout, go on vacation, and celebrate milestones in person. For the first time, my world felt a lot brighter.

 

Oysters and Empty Nesters

Mom, what are you gonna do when Jenna and I are both away at college?

This was the question that Andrew, our youngest child, posed to me as he stood in our kitchen wearing his red plaid pajama pants, making himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I remember when I dropped him off for his first day of preschool. After leaving him for the first time, I went downstairs to the “Woohoo/Boo-hoo” brunch in the multipurpose room. This was the place for those who wanted to celebrate or cry about this momentous occasion. Some parents were ecstatic about their newly-found freedom and came for the mimosas before heading to the gym. Others sat around tables eating bagels and emptying boxes of Kleenex.

What am I going to do when they are both at college? Will I cry? Will I make myself a mimosa? Is there a third option? Because I’m somewhere in-between. Here is why:

Woohoo!

Proud does not even begin to describe how I feel about both of my kids. I’ve watched them grow up and evolve into young adults. We instilled our morals and values into them and taught them right from wrong. They are kind and empathetic people. They have a thirst for knowledge and a love of travel and adventure. And they know how to do their own laundry.

What more could a mother ask for? Watching them take all of those skills and applying them in the real world is truly a joy. And, I take pride in knowing that I had something to do with it. So, yes, pour me a cocktail, and let’s celebrate.

And I’m excited to start a new chapter in my life. Will I finally write the book I keep talking about with family and friends? Will I get the chance to explore Europe for the first time in my life? Will I take a much-needed and well-earned girls’ trip or an extended vacation with my husband? The possibilities are endless. The world is my oyster, right?!

Boo-hoo

I’ve never really cared much for oysters. I’ve never tried one, in all honesty, but they don’t look all that appealing to me. They seem slimy and messy and don’t smell so great. This is exactly how I’m feeling about being an empty nester. It doesn’t seem like the delicacy everyone makes them out to be. And as a Jew, aren’t I supposed to avoid all shellfish? Pass me a tissue.

When we took Jenna to college, I was proud that I held it together as we set up her dorm room. It was during lunch that I started to feel the weight of the occasion. She wasn’t coming home with us. She was heading out on her own, and I would not be there to witness it – as I have all of the other chapters in her life. On the way to the car was when I lost it. The tears came streaming down my face. I didn’t even try to hide them. And now, I have to do this all over again with Andrew – except now – there is no third child to take care of at home.

Just Keep Swimming

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my neighbors about how much she liked being an empty nester. She gave me some pearls of wisdom. (Yes, I am trying really hard to stick with this metaphor…)

She said that it is so nice not to plan anything around when the kids are in school. She and her husband don’t have to worry about what to do with the kids when they want to go somewhere. Of course, I have a dog, but I got her point. And, she is right, this is a nice benefit. And we have done it before. When we sent both kids to overnight camp for a month, we went to Punta Cana. So, there you go.

In the meantime, Andrew still has his senior year ahead of him. There are lots of special occasions to look forward to in the near future. And for right now, while he is still home, I’m as happy as a clam.

Some Thoughts On Turning 50

So, I turned 50 yesterday, and so far, so good. I’ve been asked a few questions about this milestone birthday, and I thought I’d take this opportunity to share my answers.

Q: Do you feel any different?

A: Not really. I’ve felt for a while now that I am the best version of myself. It took me a long time to get here. I’ve been through a lot of different phases and learned a lot of lessons. But I can honestly say I’m comfortable in my own skin.

Q: Are you freaking out?

A: Starting a new decade has never bothered me. I see it as a clean slate laid out for me to make my mark. I admit that I do freak out in the years leading up to the next decade. If you asked me this question when I was turning 47 or 48, I probably had a different answer.

Q: Did you get your AARP membership invitation?

A: Yes. It came in the mail with a postcard for the local private school, which is weird because I have a daughter in college and a son in high school. Why am I still on their mailing list? Also, can the age for AARP be raised to 60? Who is retiring at 50 these days? If you are, Mazel tov!

Q: Do you know who that celebrity is?

A: Were they in a John Hughes movie or performed at LiveAid? No? Then, probably not.

Q: How will you enjoy your golden years?

A: If I’m not mistaken, I think the term “golden years” refers to post-retirement. I’m not retiring any time soon unless I win the lottery.

Q: Did you schedule your (fill in the appropriate medical test)? 

A: I saw a commercial yesterday for the shingles vaccine and realized that now I’m old enough to get it. I added it to my list. The downside of this age is that I now qualify – and am obligated to – receive several preventative shots, tests, and exams. I’m on it – can I enjoy the moment first?

Q: Do you feel old? (part 1)

A: Absolutely not! I can still do everything I could do before. Fifty comes with another f-word I like – “freedom.” With my kids becoming more independent, I will not spend my time in carpool lines and birthday parties. While I miss some parts of that parenting stage, this is such a fun time in their lives. We have amazing conversations. And, I love watching my kids grow up and figure out how to be adults. Of course, I’m still right here when they need me. By the way, what F-word did you think I was going to say?

Q: Do you feel old? (part 2)

A: Still no. I’m proud to say that I stay on top of new technology, social media, and apps. At least I thought I was up to date until I had to use Apple Pay at the grocery store when the credit card machine was down. Note to self: always have a little cash on hand, so I never have to do that again. I was a little embarrassed, but I still didn’t feel old – just a bit flustered.

I am told that learning new things will keep me forever young. And apparently, jigsaw puzzles and reading are excellent for brain health, so I’m already ahead of the game. Just give me a minute while I find my reading glasses.

Q: Do you worry that you are running out of time?

A: Yes, I do. Turning 50 definitely puts things in perspective. I am taking stock of what I’ve already accomplished – which is a lot – and what else I want to do with my life. It’s a long list of places to go (Italy), people to see (friends that live far away who I haven’t seen in forever), and things to do (write a book). Now, I need to figure out how I’m going to do it all.

Q: Is that your natural hair color?

A: None of your business. 🙂

Q: What are you going to do now? 

A: Stay tuned.

How did you feel about your milestone birthday?

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