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Mental Health Awareness Month

As someone who has struggled with mental health issues in the past, I’d be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I’ve written about my struggles with depression and anxiety here and here, so I won’t repeat my stories today. But, I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to practice self-care for your mental health.

During the global pandemic and subsequent lockdown, anxiety was a reliable companion. I relied on several coping strategies to remain sane through it all. In fact, I’ve turned some of these strategies into good habits.

Writing

Sometimes I have a lot on my mind, and the only way for me to process my feelings is to write them down. There are days that I scribble furiously on yellow notepads to get it all out of my system. At times, I would stare at a blank page or computer screen, afraid of what others might think if I put my thoughts out there for everyone to see. But, whether I share my thoughts on this blog or not, clearing my head in this way is always a great comfort to me.

Relaxing

My office was closed this week, and it has done wonders for my mental health. I don’t think I’ve taken a week off since before the pandemic – because I had nowhere to go. I decided to treat this break as the gift it was and make the most out of it. One day, I went to Longwood Gardens with a friend and enjoyed the conservatory and all of nature in full bloom. At one point, we found rocking chairs by a waterfall and sat there for a while enjoying the peace and quiet – away from the endless errands, piles of laundry, and decisions waiting for us at home. I admit that I’m not wired to meditate or relax regularly, but I could get used to days like this.

Phone a friend

I also spent a lot of time with good friends this past week. I had coffee with a friend at my favorite breakfast place. I hugged a few friends who came to visit and shared a few laughs over some food and beer at a local pub with another. I also spent time with my family, which is always rewarding. As the kids get older, they tend to come and go as they please, so it is nice when they stop and check in with us for a while.

Exercise

I don’t walk as often as I’d like to, but it makes a huge difference when I make an effort.  Whether I’m walking off some steam or just need a break away from the computer to enjoy the fresh air, I always feel refreshed and rejuvenated – especially if I’m having a tough day. Walking has so many benefits. For me, it is an easy way to work out and catch up on podcasts. It also helps get the creative juices flowing and facilitates problem-solving, among other things. Yeah, walking is pretty great. I need to make more time for it.

Professional help

At several points in my life, my therapist has saved me. At others, she has been an incredible source of validation and strength. I’ve never been ashamed of seeing a therapist, nor should I be. Therapy doesn’t change you – as many people think it might – it has helped me become the person I was meant to be, and as a bonus, I learned how to deal with everything else that came my way. I highly recommend it.

Reading

You didn’t think I would leave books out of my self-care routine, did you?! As you know, I have plenty of titles to choose from. On the days I’m in the mood to laugh, I’ll pick an essay collection by David Sedaris or Lisa Scottoline. If I’m feeling more somber and need a lift, I’ll choose a book like Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindenbergh. It almost doesn’t matter what I’m reading when I’m feeling stressed. It always centers me.

Remember that self-care isn’t self-indulgent; it is self-preservation.

What do you do to practice self-care when you need it most?

 

 

Raise a Glass to Reading

Can you believe Memorial Day is next weekend?! The unofficial start of summer is days away, and plans are being made left and right. Of course, books factor into all my trips down the shore, long car rides, and pool days because I never leave home without one.

Right now, I’m slowly cultivating my summer reading list. Like a fine wine, I want this list to be both robust and well-balanced. I want titles that match my exquisite taste in fiction, quench my thirst for knowledge, and fill my glass to the brim with lots of great flavors.

Most of the books I have selected are already on my shelves, but there are a few that I will acquire to round out my collection. I have been researching different titles based on recommendations from the sommeliers of the literary world – like the New York Times bestseller list, the Modern Mrs. Darcy book club, and #bookstagram. Next month, I will briefly lift my self-imposed, book-buying ban, select what I hope are “excellent choices,” and then put a cork in it for the rest of the summer.

I hope you will join me in celebrating this upcoming summer of books and wine. A wise man once said, “Great wines are like great books. Once you take your first ‘sip,’ they are hard to put down.

 

 

 

The Book vs The Movie

I used to be excited about going to the movies. I went all the time as a kid. I loved the big screen and the candy. And it was great to go every year on December 25 because my family celebrated a Jewish Christmas. The movie theater was the only thing open, and my friends were all there. We could hold a minyan if we wanted to because the entire congregation – including the rabbi – filled up the seats.

Now, Christmas is a big movie release day, so it isn’t just for the members of the tribe (MOTs) anymore. But back then, it only cost $4 to see the latest feature film. You could take your entire Hebrew school class and see every movie in the theater for less than $25 plus the cost of popcorn. And then, we would all go out for Chinese food afterward.

As a teenager, I went to the movies almost every weekend. It was a little more expensive, but my dates usually paid. Now, as an adult, the experience is not as fun anymore. The previews are endless. People look at their cell phones instead of watching the movie (not me, of course). And even though I’m fully vaccinated, I don’t want to be in a crowded theater. I have perfected the art of watching films in the comfort of my living room. I can even pop my own popcorn and save a lot of money.

But, the number one reason I’m not interested in going to the movies is this: the book is always better. I mean, thank G-d for the wonderful actors that are cast in these roles – like Octavia Spencer in “Hidden Figures” or Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman in “The Shawshank Redemption.” I admit they bring the characters to life in ways that I enjoy. But even the best film directors can’t possibly capture all the intricate subplots and themes in two hours. I give them plenty of points for costumes and cinematography – but the story almost always suffers, especially the endings. (SPOILERS AHEAD)

In “The Devil Wears Prada,” the assistant Andi gives Miranda Priestly precisely what she deserves in Lauren Weisberger’s book, and it’s AWESOME! But, in the movie, not so much. The ending pales in comparison and neatly tied up in a bow. Disappointing!

Same with “Crazy Rich Asians.” I’ve watched the movie several times because it is a good story, But Astrid and Michael have a great storyline that is never fully realized in the film. And the relationship between Rachel and her potential mother-in-law does not end as well in the novel as on-screen.

And don’t even get me started on the ending to “Gone Girl.” I can’t even… If you’ve read the book AND seen the movie, you know what I mean.

When you think about it, the book costs around $16, which is about the same price as the movie (depending on where you live). Rationally speaking, why would I spend that money twice on the same story? As a side note, I never by the book with the movie poster on the cover. I refuse to feed into the marketing of the film and carry it around like a mini-billboard.

So, perhaps it isn’t the sticky floors or the endless previews that I dread at the theater. More likely, it is that I am often so disappointed. Call me a book nerd, but I can’t help but shake my head and wonder why I wasted my money and my time.

Are there any movies you liked better than the book?

 

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