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Archive of ‘Ultimate Blog Challenge’ category

A Sign of the Times

Welcome to Life Without A Manual. Aren’t we all living that way these days? This global pandemic has caused us to rearrange our lives and discover new and creative ways to work, parent, live and, most importantly, survive. It has affected everything from the most mundane of tasks to the milestones we want to celebrate–all at a safe social distance.

I have always felt that I’m living my life without a manual. The origin story of my blog name is the perfect example of this philosophy.

For instance, I have two teenagers and parenting them is a carefully woven combination of structure and chaos. While my kids are self-sufficient and can entertain themselves, we are working through a roller coaster of emotions for what I can only describe as a grieving process. They have to adjust to this new normal of online learning instead of enjoying the interaction of a classroom setting. They maintain friendships and relationships through the magic of texting, FaceTiming and social media instead of hanging out at the mall or in someone’s home. They are suffering a loss of certain freedoms they used to enjoy like driving and staying on campus. It would be nice to have a map to help guide them through these troubled times, but there is no map and no manual.

As for me, it’s been difficult to set boundaries between working from home and living here. I’ve had to set up shop at my kitchen island which is the highest traffic area in my home. There are constant distractions, and I find it difficult to ignore the dishes and the laundry. Doesn’t this give new meaning to the term work/life balance?

The only one who seems to be thrilled with this new arrangement is our dog, and she demands constant attention. But, so does my boss. It would help to have a company handbook to show us the rules of the road. But there is no handbook and no manual.

There are so many aspects of life that have changed and who knows how it will be when this is all over. While I don’t want every post this month to be about this pandemic, I also can’t ignore it. We are living a part of world history, and it should be documented – even in this small way. And if this isn’t living life without a manual, I don’t know what is.

So I’m here to support you, and let you know you aren’t alone. I’ll share my experiences with you – the good, the bad, and the anxiety. And so I know you are with me, I hope you will comment on these posts to let me know how you are and what you are doing to get by in these crazy times.

We are all in this together. This is the Ultimate Blog Challenge – 30 days, 30 posts.  Let’s do this!

Showing Up

For me, the hardest part about fulfilling a personal goal has always been starting. When I want to start an exercise routine, getting myself to the gym is the most challenging. Once I’m there, I hop on the treadmill or the elliptical and thirty minutes later, I feel amazing. I wonder why I don’t do this more often. I could be 25 pounds lighter right now if I just showed up.

The same goes for writing. For the last 31 days, I woke up, got dressed, poured myself a cup of ambition and sat down at my computer screen. Sometimes, I would type the words “I don’t know what to write” until something came to mind. Other times, I’d shut off the computer and pray an idea comes would magically appear on my way to work. And there were a few days when I had to give myself a much-needed break.

But guess what? I DID IT! I put myself first and showed up. And here I am 31 days later with a new writing routine. I carved out the time for it. I made it a priority. I succeeded.

Why don’t I do this more often? I feel amazing! I could have had my first book written if only I did this sooner. 😉

There is no stopping me now! I may not get to 29 posts for February, but I promise to show up when I have something to say.

Thank you for reading my posts and supporting me all month long. Stay tuned!

A Writer’s Fairy Tale

Do you remember this scene from Pretty Woman? Richard and Vivian are lying in bed together, having some serious pillow talk.

“When people put you down enough, you start to believe it,” Vivian whispers.

“I think you are a very bright, very special woman,” Edward assures her.

Vivian looks into his eyes and answers, “The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?”

This is so true, and there is science to back this up. According to an article at livingincognito.com, we are all pre-programmed to think this way. The author writes, “We are predisposed to pay attention to the negative stuff because when we were cave-dwelling, our ancestors had to be on high alert for danger—a.k.a. the bad stuff.” And now, even though we don’t have those dangers to face, our brain never rewired itself. We pay attention to the negative because our brains are overprotective and want to protect us from harm. We form a permanent memory of this feeling and therefore find it difficult to move forward.

This Ultimate Blog Challenge (UBC) has started to rewire my brain. I’ve already broken up with my 12th-grade journalism teacher, who told me I’d never be good enough. I’m putting out of my mind the rejections I’ve received from a few contests. When I asked one contest leader if I could get a critique of my piece, she had nothing but constructive feedback and words of encouragement. Even when I feel like I wrote a shitty first draft in the writer’s workshop I attend, people find something that resonates with them.

Hey guys – I just wrote a blog post a day for 30 straight days! For me, this is a big accomplishment. This experience has given me a much more positive attitude toward my writing career. Even on the days when I thought I had nothing more to write about, I realize my brain just needed to rest and recharge. I skipped two days but caught up and jumped right back on the horse.

Yes, the bad stuff is easier to believe, but I’m choosing to embrace the positive signs flashing brightly in front of me. And when someone has something negative and unhelpful to say, I’ll listen and then reply –

“BIG MISTAKE. HUGE! I HAVE TO GO AND WRITE NOW.”

 

 

 

 

 

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