Home » Archive by category 'Life Without A Manual' (Page 54)

Archive of ‘Life Without A Manual’ category

The Blog Evolution

It wasn’t too long ago when I was a mom of two young children who I loved to talk about constantly. In my community, this is known as “kvelling” – a Yiddish word meaning bursting with pride.

I even had a blog called Kvell Corner hosted on BlogSpot, where my children were the stars of the show. I talked about my daughter coming home from overnight camp as a newly-minted vegetarian and how I knew nothing about cooking for her. And I documented my kids’ first solo bike rides to school with me following them in my minivan to make sure they arrived safely. I may have told a few embarrassing stories about temper tantrums in the middle of Sears and birthday parties gone bad.

And then, two things happened almost simultaneously. First, my kids became aware of my blog and started to read it. I didn’t think there was anything questionable in my posts, but they asked – no demanded – to read what I wrote before sharing with a broader audience. That was fair. While they rarely censored my writing, they did begin to say, “Mom, you can’t write about this!” when something happened that would have made for a great story to share.

The other thing that happened is that I wanted to change the name and the theme of my blog. Unless you are Jewish, you wouldn’t know what Kvell Corner means without my explaining it to you. I desired a more all-encompassing name that spoke to the masses and reflected other parts of my life besides parenthood.

Around this time, I participated in a weekly writing group where we literally workshopped my new name in class. I was delighted when someone came up with the concept of a manual. We discussed how we are never born with or given a guidebook for life and that my blog could fill this need. Let me be clear. I am no expert in the ways of the world and what works best for everyone. Far from it! But, we are all in the same boat. We have to figure things out for ourselves as we go along. My stories and posts are a way for me to jump in the boat with you and enjoy the ride.

Hence, the name of this blog was born. Before launching the blog, I had to sit with the name and live with it to see if it felt right. And then, as if the stars were aligned in my favor, a bad parenting moment presented itself and ultimately sealed the deal. You can read that story here.

Now my kids tell me they love when I write about them. They even joke about it by saying – “well, I guess this is one for the blog.”  I still ask their permission, and it is almost always granted. I am grateful to them for giving me that gift. But, I also have stories to tell that have nothing to do with them. I’ve had a rewarding career in non-profit communications for nearly 20 years. Working in the non-profit world has a way of teaching me lessons I never thought I needed to learn. This makes for some terrific blog content.

Also, I’m turning 50 later this month, and I’m pretty excited about it. I’ve never been one to stress about starting a new decade. It is typically the next birthday that I gasp and realize I’m closing in on the next one. I loved my 40s, and as this time in my life ends, I realize that my tolerance for bullshit is waning and my confidence to shine a light on it grows exponentially. I know I’m on the brink of an entirely new chapter in my life. My daughter is in college, and my son is a junior in high school. It is now my job to support their transitions into adulthood. I’m already noticing more time on my hands to pay attention to my dreams yet to come to fruition.

It’s an exciting time. And, I promise to share it all with you.

No Dumb Questions

I firmly believe there is no such thing as a dumb question. If you don’t know the answer to something, ask. And if people laugh at you or roll their eyes in annoyance, they were the wrong person to ask. It is never the question that should be in question.

I remember visiting Scott’s grandmother in the hospital years ago. I can’t remember what she was in there for, but I know it wasn’t good. We were in the waiting room for a long time and then invited back to see her. I stood up and went to follow everyone but looked down at the cold, dimly-lit hallway and hesitated. My soon-to-be father-in-law gave me a curious look. I had a question that I wasn’t sure how to ask. And then, I just asked it.

“What will I see when I go in there?” I asked him. Having visited my own grandparents in the hospital many times, I never asked the question beforehand. I would just follow people into the room, hope for the best, and expect the worst. But, it had been a while since I was in this particular situation. I had seen some things in the past that made me uncomfortable. So, I asked. My father-in-law smiled and reassured me that she looked like herself and was attached to only a few machines, but it was nothing scary. And then, as we walked down the hallway toward her room, he gave me a little squeeze to reassure me it was all good.

I breathed a sigh of relief for two reasons. First, I honored my instincts and asked the question so I knew what to expect. Second, to his credit, my father-in-law didn’t laugh at my question. He showed me kindness and alleviated my concerns.

This is a memory that comes to mind often when I have questions I’m afraid to ask. Like, every day, I have another social media question for the younger (and much more knowledgable) staff members. Can I post a picture to Instagram from my laptop? And can I add a link to the comments of the post so people can go directly to the website? The answers are – no and no. I have to upload the images from my phone and sign up for something called Linktree. That’s it. No eye-rolls. No laughing. Instead, I got the answers I needed to do my job.

As I approach my 50th year, I have questions. There are some I don’t ask, but not because I’m afraid of what people will think of me. Thankfully, I learned to give up those concerns in my 40’s. It’s because I wonder what will happen after I ask them or worse if I don’t ask them at all. And yes, I’m purposely vague on what those questions are because that’s not what’s important. For now, just like in that dimly-lit hallway, I am summoning up the courage to ask, and I remind myself that there are no dumb questions. I can only hope I am met with smiles, hugs, kindness, and answers.

Collecting My Thoughts

As I sat on my sofa and watched the sunrise this morning, I took a sip of my coffee. Most of the time, I start my day like this and think about all the work I have to do, the errands I need to run, and what I need to get accomplished in the next 12 hours or so. But, this morning, I had a completely different train of thought. I sat there and wondered – what exactly are we all in for this week as a nation?

My first thought was, please God, let’s not have a repeat of last week’s events. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever think I would witness an attack on our legislative branch (or any branch for that matter). Growing up, I remember being taught that the legislature is the most important branch of government. From creating our laws and protecting our rights to declaring war, our senators and representatives represent our ideals for democracy. And the Capitol building is where they work every day for all of us. It is their home away from home. It’s a melting pot of people who speak on behalf of its citizens. At least, I like to think they do, but don’t worry, I am not that naive.

For me, the Capitol building has always been a place of reverence and compromise, certainly not violence, hate, and intolerance. I have so many photos of myself in front of that majestic building with my parents and sister on school trips and family vacations. I’ve visited D.C. more often than any other city in the country – except for Philadelphia (of course). I’ve gone there to visit with my sister, who lived in the District for many years or attend meetings with colleagues. The last time I was there was about a year ago to see a special showing of High Fidelity followed by a conversation with the one and only John Cusack. I took the train to D.C. and remembered walking out of Union Station, and the first thing I saw was the Capitol welcoming me to one of my favorite cities. It has always been a sight to behold and a symbol of all that is good and decent in our country. I have so many good memories there.

It’s hard to wrap my head around what happened on those steps and in those gilded hallways just a few short days ago. In a word, it was frightening. Just like you, I watched our representatives being evacuated from the House chamber that I’ve toured a few times when they weren’t in session. I recognized many of those faces from Meet the Press and Face the Nation and saw them running for their lives. They became much more human to me in those moments than their somewhat celebrity status on TV. I felt for their families, who were helplessly watching this all unfold live on television along with the rest of the country. I can’t imagine the sheer panic these men and women (and their staff and everyone else who works in the building) went through in those harrowing moments and then subsequent hours of waiting and wondering when they can go back to work and how long it would before they could hug their loved ones.

I wish I didn’t know that the horrible people who attacked our democracy existed in this country. I always knew they could be found if I really looked – but I never looked. And then, they were there. People who have an inherent loathing for all minorities and wear their hate across their chests with pride and in plain sight. It is terrifying that such a mob could descend upon our leaders and threaten them with more than just words.

And now, there are talks of impeachment and removal and the 25th amendment and resignations, all of which, by the way, I am totally on board with. Throw the book at them, I say.

God only knows what comes next, which is what I was thinking about as I drank my coffee in my peaceful home at the crack of dawn. I hope and pray that whatever happens doesn’t top last week’s events. And I think I’ll leave it at that.

 

1 … 52 53 54 55 56 … 102