At my age, I know myself pretty well; just don’t put a label on me because it won’t work. I’m a bit of a mutt when it comes to assigning myself to one particular category. This used to cause me a lot of stress and frustration as I deal with dueling personality traits. But now, I’ve accepted it for what it all adds up to – me.

A & B

I am somewhere between a Type A and Type B personality. I am an organized person. I like to be either early or on time when we go places. I set goals and obsess over articles about time management skills and productivity systems. And if that doesn’t clinch it, I have zero patience. Whoever said “patience is a virtue” did not have me in mind.

However, I am also Type B. I am creative and innovative. I would not describe myself as competitive by any means. I focus on the fun and not the scoreboard. I am flexible and mild-mannered (until I lose my patience and then all bets are off). I enjoy conversations with people that are reflective and meaningful. I am proud of the fact that I can be flexible and adaptable to situations when things take an unexpected turn.

SMART and SOFT

So, when it comes to setting goals for myself, both personalities come into play. In my career, I set SMART goals and stretch goals and often refer back to them to make sure I’m on the right track. When I sit down for a performance review, I want to say I accomplished or made progress with each of the goals I set out to do. All of this easily puts me in the Type A category.

As for losing weight, FitBit steps, and Goodreads goals, I’m much softer. Probably because, according to Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies quiz – I’m an Obliger. As I read more about this tendency, I see that it is the intersection of Type A and Type B personalities. I always want to put others before myself (Type B) and do what I can for them (Type A) to make them happy.

Myers-Briggs

As if to add insult to injury, I fluctuate between an ENFP and an ESFP type on the Myers-Briggs Personality test. The difference in that one letter is whether or not I get more excited about concepts and ideas or experiences and actions. Can’t I be both?

To Sum Up

This is all to say that I have a huge list of goals to tackle for 2021. In order to be successful, do I really need to pick a side? Maybe I’ll set a new goal to be a little less of an Obliger, and tap into my Type A traits while keeping what I love about being a solid Type B.

Hmm… I think I’m back to where I started.

How about you? What is your personality type?

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It’s been many years since college, and I still remember the path I walked from my dorm room through the Quad to Intro to Politics class. I wore either a plaid button-down shirt or the t-shirt from the concert I went to that weekend. I’d top off the look with some cutoff jeans, a row of bracelets dangling from my wrist, and a high ponytail with a matching scrunchie. If I close my eyes, I can see the white, nameless food truck on University Avenue where I would grab a greasy breakfast sandwich and a cup of coffee – even though my parents bought me a meal plan. And then, I head up the hill to class at Ruby Jones Hall.

I was thinking about this at 7:30 this morning while attending a Zoom meeting with Andrew’s guidance counselor about his college plans. I knew this moment was coming, but what mother is ever ready for this process to begin? Andrew is our youngest, and while I’ve been down this road before with our daughter, it isn’t any easier emotionally the second time around. In fact, while I was on the call, it occurred to me that his advisor probably wasn’t even born when I was in college. Still, I sat there to be educated in the COVID-19 SAT changes made this year (no essay section – YAY!), the magic of Naviance, and wishing all of this information was available to me when I was his age.

It is hard enough to come to terms with the fact that I have a daughter in college, and now we have to start searching for where Andrew will land next. I’m excited for both of them. Let’s face it – college is the best time of our lives as we try our hands at being adults while living out our childhood dreams of independence. Our daughter still calls three times a day, and am not complaining. I can only hope he will do the same.

When we ended our Zoom call, I thought about how college didn’t seem so long ago for me. And then, I looked in the mirror and saw that okay – maybe it has been that long. And then, this song popped into my head from the musical Avenue Q. I saw the show a few years after I graduated and this song was just as relevant now as back then. If you’ve seen the musical you know it…

I wish I could go back to college.
Life was so simple back then.

What would I give to go back and live
in a dorm with a meal plan again!

I wish I could go back to college.
In college, you know who you are.
You sit in the quad
and think, “Oh my God!
I am totally gonna go far!”

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Recently, I was asked to mentor a newly-minted college grad. She is looking for a job and isn’t sure how to break into my field. The first thing I asked her was to send me her LinkedIn profile, but she immediately scoffed.

“I don’t use LinkedIn,” she said offhandedly.

Ok, lesson #1 – establish a profile and get active on LinkedIn. Whether you are happy in your current job, looking for your next position, just starting, or even close to retirement, LinkedIn is the place to be. And I would argue that it isn’t just another social media platform; it’s a community.

When I was furloughed from my job last year, thanks to COVID-19, I immediately looked to LinkedIn. It is a one-stop-shop for networking and job searching. Whatever you are looking for – career advice, dream jobs, latest trends, or best practices – this is where you need to be.

Last year, I met many new people who were strangers and welcomed them into my network. Each one offered both kindness and support in my time of need. Some connected me with people they knew in my field. Others invited me to network groups and webinars they thought I would benefit from. From Toastmasters group, an authors’ events, to countless 1-1 meetings, I always came away with helpful advice, information, job leads, or an important connection.

The only thing these people ever asked of me was to return the favor or pay it forward. I was on the lookout for jobs where my new found friends could apply or people I could introduce them to. I offered up my resume writing and editing skills free of charge because it was the right thing to do. And I wanted to help others as they had helped me.

LinkedIn is the best place for good karma. If you put yourself out there, offer up your skills and ideas, and keep an open mind, the rewards are plentiful. For me, my reward was a wonderful new job where I feel valued, respected, and maximized.

Now, you may be thinking – she must work for LinkedIn. But, I don’t. I’m just a big fan. And like that college grad, I also thought LinkedIn was overwhelming and daunting at first. But here is a little advice,  there is no need to jump in with both feet. Just dip your toes in and see what happens.

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