Death by Questions

Last Monday, I tested positive for COVID-19. Today, I tested negative. YAY!

In those five days, I have been shown so much kindness and concern from all of you. Your text messages, phone calls, Facebook messages, and suggestions for binge-able Netflix shows and movies were so appreciated. And, my fantastic work friends were so thoughtful to send me a Shabbat dinner for tonight so that I didn’t have to cook. So many of you texted me daily to make sure I was still alive. I am really and truly feeling the love right now. 

But the questions… the endless stream of questions that came my way almost killed me. It’s hard to be peppered with questions and expected to answer coherently and in great detail while symptomatic, and trying to rest and recover. So, I did the only thing that made sense to me. I started to make a list of all the questions. Not the answers. Just the questions. So many questions.

I kid you because I love you all. And now that I’m on the mend, I’m declaring the question and answer period officially over.

The Kindest of Questions

• How are you feeling?
• Do you have a fever?
• Are you coughing?
• What are your symptoms?
• When did the symptoms start?
• How is everyone else in your house feeling?
• What are their symptoms?
• Did you have COVID before this?
• Is it as bad as it was the last time?
• Can I get you anything?
• Do you want me to go grocery shopping for you?
• Can I bring you some chicken noodle soup?
• Are you taking medicine?
• What are you taking?
• Do you have any Vicks VapoRub?
• Are you vaccinated and boosted?
• Did you sleep?
• Did you lose your sense of smell or taste?

Questions from the COVID-19 Detective Squad

• Where do you think you got COVID?
• Where have you traveled to lately?
• Did you get it at the swim meet?
• Do you think you picked it up when you went to Towson last week?
• Were you feeling sick when you went for your colonoscopy?
• Was anyone coughing around you?
• Were masks required everywhere you went?
• Were you wearing a mask?
• Was anyone wearing a mask?
• Was there a vaccination requirement?
• Did you have to show proof of vaccination?
• How long did you stay?
• Were you around people who were exposed recently?
• Who let the dogs out? (Just making sure you are still reading 🙂 )

Testing! Testing!

• When did the symptoms start?
• When did you take the test?
• Was it a rapid test or a PCR test?
• Are you going to ask for a PCR test?
• Where did you get the home test?
• Did you buy a test, or did you have one already?
• Did you take another test?
• How many tests are you going to take?
• How accurate is the test?
• Did the line show up right away?
• Was the line dark or faint?
• Are you sure there were two lines?
• Did you wait the full 15 minutes?
• When can you test again?
• Do you need more tests?

Quarantine Questions

• How long are you supposed to quarantine?
• Are you self-isolating?
• Is Scott feeling okay?
• Did you call the doctor?
• What did he say?
• How long does the CDC recommend you self-isolate?
• Did you do the proper contact tracing?
• Did you let everyone know?

Personal Questions

• Are you and Scott still sleeping in the same bed?
• Where is he going to sleep?
• Do you have a sofa bed?
• Where is the dog sleeping?
• Is the dog sick too?

Work Questions

• Does your boss know?
• Do your colleagues know?
• Do the people in this Zoom meeting know?
• What did the people at work say?
• Are you working this week?
• Can you take sick time?
• Does anybody really know what time it is? 🙂

Even More Questions

• Are the kids staying away from you?
• Did they take a test?
• Was it a home test or a PCR test?
• Didn’t they have COVID this year already?
• When did they have it?
• How are they feeling?
• Do they have any symptoms?
• Are they still going out with their friends?
• Do their friends know?
• Do their friends’ parents know?

Questions from our Kids

• Can you sit over there?
• Can you not touch my food/breathe on me/come into my room?
• Should I play water polo this spring?
• Can you drive me back to college on Saturday?
• What’s for dinner?