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The Blog Evolution

It wasn’t too long ago when I was a mom of two young children who I loved to talk about constantly. In my community, this is known as “kvelling” – a Yiddish word meaning bursting with pride.

I even had a blog called Kvell Corner hosted on BlogSpot, where my children were the stars of the show. I talked about my daughter coming home from overnight camp as a newly-minted vegetarian and how I knew nothing about cooking for her. And I documented my kids’ first solo bike rides to school with me following them in my minivan to make sure they arrived safely. I may have told a few embarrassing stories about temper tantrums in the middle of Sears and birthday parties gone bad.

And then, two things happened almost simultaneously. First, my kids became aware of my blog and started to read it. I didn’t think there was anything questionable in my posts, but they asked – no demanded – to read what I wrote before sharing with a broader audience. That was fair. While they rarely censored my writing, they did begin to say, “Mom, you can’t write about this!” when something happened that would have made for a great story to share.

The other thing that happened is that I wanted to change the name and the theme of my blog. Unless you are Jewish, you wouldn’t know what Kvell Corner means without my explaining it to you. I desired a more all-encompassing name that spoke to the masses and reflected other parts of my life besides parenthood.

Around this time, I participated in a weekly writing group where we literally workshopped my new name in class. I was delighted when someone came up with the concept of a manual. We discussed how we are never born with or given a guidebook for life and that my blog could fill this need. Let me be clear. I am no expert in the ways of the world and what works best for everyone. Far from it! But, we are all in the same boat. We have to figure things out for ourselves as we go along. My stories and posts are a way for me to jump in the boat with you and enjoy the ride.

Hence, the name of this blog was born. Before launching the blog, I had to sit with the name and live with it to see if it felt right. And then, as if the stars were aligned in my favor, a bad parenting moment presented itself and ultimately sealed the deal. You can read that story here.

Now my kids tell me they love when I write about them. They even joke about it by saying – “well, I guess this is one for the blog.”  I still ask their permission, and it is almost always granted. I am grateful to them for giving me that gift. But, I also have stories to tell that have nothing to do with them. I’ve had a rewarding career in non-profit communications for nearly 20 years. Working in the non-profit world has a way of teaching me lessons I never thought I needed to learn. This makes for some terrific blog content.

Also, I’m turning 50 later this month, and I’m pretty excited about it. I’ve never been one to stress about starting a new decade. It is typically the next birthday that I gasp and realize I’m closing in on the next one. I loved my 40s, and as this time in my life ends, I realize that my tolerance for bullshit is waning and my confidence to shine a light on it grows exponentially. I know I’m on the brink of an entirely new chapter in my life. My daughter is in college, and my son is a junior in high school. It is now my job to support their transitions into adulthood. I’m already noticing more time on my hands to pay attention to my dreams yet to come to fruition.

It’s an exciting time. And, I promise to share it all with you.

The Ultimate Blog Challenge

It’s February 1st, and you know what that means … it’s time to begin my quest and rediscover my voice in the Ultimate Blog Challenge. (UBC for short.) Those of you who have read my blog for a while now know that I attempt this challenge quarterly. But, really… what is this challenge? Let me break it down for you.

Ultimate

There are two definitions for this word. It can be used as an adjective, like the ultimate – or final – goal. It can also be a noun – like this blog challenge is the ultimate – or the best of its kind. For me, both of these definitions are true. My ultimate goal is to post a blog 31 times throughout the month. Ideally, I will wake up each day and prioritize writing over everything else. As you may guess, life will get in the way at times, but I will do what it takes to reach the end successfully.

It’s also the “ultimate” because it is one of the best writing challenges I’ve participated in. This is thanks to our fearless leader, Paul, and all of the bloggers who write posts and offer praise and comments. Any writer will tell you that they need a community to lift them up and support them. When I write and post, the ultimate compliment is when someone comments with their own stories and thoughts. And I encourage you, dear reader, to do so.

Blog

This blog is important to me. It’s an extension of who I am as a writer and a person. I keep saying that someday I will string these blogs together into a book of essays. Creative nonfiction and essays are big sellers right now. We all want to connect, and I believe that these types of posts and books create community. I just need a little more confidence and a big push to turn this dream into a reality.

Writing also helps me think. Some people like to run great distances to clear their heads. Others like to take long showers and sort out their problems. I write.

Challenge 

While I’ve been writing for years, the process does not come naturally to me. It can take me half an hour to write a post, or it can take days. Sometimes, I wake up and think I have nothing to say. Years ago, my writing coach taught me when that happens, I should put pen to paper anyway and start writing – “I don’t know what to write.” over and over again. And guess what, it works every time! Eventually, a topic will come to me out of nowhere. Like magic.

Speaking of magic, there was an article in the latest issue of Poets and Writers called “The Button Chair.” In it, the author writes about a workshop she attended with this title. She wondered what this magical chair was and did it have superpowers that enticed the right words to come out on paper. Spoiler alert – it wasn’t that at all. There is no such thing as a button chair. There is only “butt in chair.” Meaning, sit down and do the work. Don’t be distracted by laundry, dishes, and errands. Put your butt in your chair and start writing.

This is exactly why I need UBC in my life. It is where the magic happens. UBC gives me a place and a purpose to discipline myself. I’m held accountable by my fellow writers and readers. And in time, I establish a regular writing habit.

So, I’m ready. I have everything I could ever need – my favorite pens, pristine notebooks, a good laptop, my button chair, and you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No Dumb Questions

I firmly believe there is no such thing as a dumb question. If you don’t know the answer to something, ask. And if people laugh at you or roll their eyes in annoyance, they were the wrong person to ask. It is never the question that should be in question.

I remember visiting Scott’s grandmother in the hospital years ago. I can’t remember what she was in there for, but I know it wasn’t good. We were in the waiting room for a long time and then invited back to see her. I stood up and went to follow everyone but looked down at the cold, dimly-lit hallway and hesitated. My soon-to-be father-in-law gave me a curious look. I had a question that I wasn’t sure how to ask. And then, I just asked it.

“What will I see when I go in there?” I asked him. Having visited my own grandparents in the hospital many times, I never asked the question beforehand. I would just follow people into the room, hope for the best, and expect the worst. But, it had been a while since I was in this particular situation. I had seen some things in the past that made me uncomfortable. So, I asked. My father-in-law smiled and reassured me that she looked like herself and was attached to only a few machines, but it was nothing scary. And then, as we walked down the hallway toward her room, he gave me a little squeeze to reassure me it was all good.

I breathed a sigh of relief for two reasons. First, I honored my instincts and asked the question so I knew what to expect. Second, to his credit, my father-in-law didn’t laugh at my question. He showed me kindness and alleviated my concerns.

This is a memory that comes to mind often when I have questions I’m afraid to ask. Like, every day, I have another social media question for the younger (and much more knowledgable) staff members. Can I post a picture to Instagram from my laptop? And can I add a link to the comments of the post so people can go directly to the website? The answers are – no and no. I have to upload the images from my phone and sign up for something called Linktree. That’s it. No eye-rolls. No laughing. Instead, I got the answers I needed to do my job.

As I approach my 50th year, I have questions. There are some I don’t ask, but not because I’m afraid of what people will think of me. Thankfully, I learned to give up those concerns in my 40’s. It’s because I wonder what will happen after I ask them or worse if I don’t ask them at all. And yes, I’m purposely vague on what those questions are because that’s not what’s important. For now, just like in that dimly-lit hallway, I am summoning up the courage to ask, and I remind myself that there are no dumb questions. I can only hope I am met with smiles, hugs, kindness, and answers.

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