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My 2023 Word of the Year

“How is Wordle not your word of the year?” – my sister, Karen

Yes, it’s true. I’m obsessed with Wordle. I play it with my sister as part of our morning routine. We start with the same word and see where our connected brain power leads us to the answer. I’m a little obsessed about my current streak (63 games) and beating my maximum streak of 157 games. I mostly fall into the range of three or four guesses, and my day starts on a good note when I only need two guesses.

But Wordle is not a word of the year. It isn’t a word I can get behind and channel into my everyday life. Let’s put it this way: It’s a good way to start my day, but not to get me through it. I won’t keep you in suspense any longer (I’m sure it is killing you! LOL). My word for 2023 is GROWTH.

How I Picked My Word

I have been more meticulous about choosing this year’s word than any other year. I admit that in the past, I’d forgotten what word I picked by the end of January. I often go back to remind myself, but now I want a word that sticks.

It’s a tall order. Fortunately, I was gifted a deck of cards called “Words that Matter” by my friend, who is also named Karen. She started her own business a few years ago called Living on Purpose. This deck includes 52 inspiring words, related quotes, and questions to spark self-reflection, journaling, and much more.

On the first pass-through of the deck, I created two piles—one of the words that spoke to me and the other pile of words that didn’t. I spread out the first pile on the table and went through the second pile one more time to make sure I could eliminate them. From there, I narrowed the first pile to a dozen cards and then whittled it down to four words. I read through each quote and follow-up question carefully and made my decision.

Growth is a word I believe in—both personally and professionally. Adapting a growth mindset is how I want to move forward. I don’t want to stay stuck in a fixed state where I think my way is the only way. And if I continue to live by routine, I’ll never be open to new experiences. I want to learn from others and apply newfound knowledge to my goals and dreams. Growth is what I’ll embrace in 2023.

Here are a few ways I’ll put this word into action.

Personal Growth

As I continue to write a memoir, I am learning so much about myself, my family, and how we navigate through life. The more I write, the more I understand. The more I understand, the more I grow. It is taking much longer than I thought to write this book, but I’m still at it, and part of the journey is growing from it. I’ll continue to enlist my writing coach to see me through and invest in workshops where I can listen to feedback and critique from the writing community. Their insights and enthusiasm for what I write keep me going and growing.

I’m also at an interesting stage in life. I am sandwiched between young adult children who have recently left the nest and aging parents who live their lives to the fullest, even in the face of some challenges. As for my kids, I’ve never been a helicopter parent, and I’m not about to start now as they find their way. We raised them with good values and to think for themselves. They are resilient and thoughtful people, and I trust their judgment. I’m grateful to be their mom and will continue to learn and grow as they share their new experiences and insightful perspectives with me.

(All I ask is that they wear a jacket when it’s cold outside, text me back in a timely manner so I don’t worry, and find their passion and do what they love in life. Okay, that’s not all I ask, but it’s a good place to start.)

I am also incredibly fortunate to have both parents still with me. I continue to grow from their wisdom and life experience. This year, out of concern for their health and safety, we’ve had some tough conversations. I know we’ve made progress. I will continue to support them and try to respect their wishes to live independently for as long as possible. This isn’t always easy because I sometimes approach these conversations with an “I know what’s best…” attitude.” This doesn’t mean I will avoid these talks in the future, but I will work on more patience, flexibility, and acceptance as we all strive for the best outcome.    

Professional Growth

I love being challenged at work to take on projects that I’ve never done before. This past year, I launched a new brand for the nonprofit where I work. I collaborated with many people and served as the staff liaison to the marketing company we hired. I worked with and listened to others to gain consensus about our messaging. I managed conflicting opinions about colors and imagery regarding our logo that would ultimately reflect a more dynamic look. And I’m proud to say that the end result is something we are all incredibly proud of. I hope to have more opportunities to collaborate and learn from our leadership in the new year.

I also love taking professional development classes. Recently, I’ve noticed that while my creativity is rising, my project management skills need some readjusting. I’m excited to grab the opportunity to improve this area by learning new tricks and letting go of old habits.

A Final Thought

Even though I discarded several options for my word of the year, they won’t leave me entirely. My friend, Karen, gave me permission to use GROWTH as an overarching word and keep other words in mind to support it. So, I’m giving a shoutout to words like DREAM, AUTHENTICITY, INTENTION, and FOCUS—I see you and will invite you to the party often. Let’s get to work!

What’s your word for 2023? If you haven’t picked one yet, it’s not too late. Contact my friend, Karen, at Living On Purpose, for her card deck and her wisdom. Tell her I sent you!

XO,
Elisa

No Day But Today

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller

Hi Friends! Welcome (or welcome back!) to Life Without A Manual—a blog written by yours truly chock full of slice-of-life moments. This blog began years ago while I was raising my family without any guidebook. And now that my kids are in college, writing is again helping me navigate this new chapter as an empty nester.

Fun fact about me—I love choosing a word of the year, and I take it seriously. Each December, I start to look for words I might want to embrace in the coming year. I’ve written and crossed out several options already until settling on the one that speaks to me the most. Words are important to me and have always grounded me in life. When I was younger, I used to hide my thoughts in a diary. For those who have read my blog in the past, you know I don’t keep a diary anymore; this blog is my diary. Putting words to feelings and sharing them with others allows me to be my authentic self. And to keep my resolution of living an authentic life, I’ve signed up to participate in the Ultimate Blog Challenge (UBC), where I will write and publish daily. Thanks in advance for reading my blog. I hope you will comment often and share your stories and infinite wisdom.

Remembering Last Year’s Word

In 2022, my word of the year was TODAY because I longed to identify and be present for special moments. I knew if I didn’t recognize them and allow myself to enjoy them, I’d continue to experience life as the same routine day in and day out—especially since the COVID-19 pandemic. I’m happy to say that I took my word of the year to heart. So, before I share my 2023 Word of the Year in tomorrow’s post, I thought I’d take a quick look back at some of the TODAYs I treasured this past year.

  1. We sent Andrew to college! – With our youngest starting at Drexel University, my husband and I officially became empty nesters. But, before he left, we enjoyed every one of his high school swim meets and water polo games. We cheered on his water polo team in the state finals and celebrated when he qualified for the Pennsylvania Interscholastic Athletics Association (PIAA) finals in swimming. On dry land, he also earned his Eagle Scout rank last year, went to Philmont Scouting Ranch in New Mexico, and graduated with honors from high school. Can you tell I’m a proud mom?
  2. Jenna excelled at school and had two leadership roles. – Our daughter recently ended her term as President of Towson University Hillel and Vice President of Diversity and Inclusion for her sorority DPhiE. One of my biggest highlights was watching her cut the ribbon and give a speech at the opening of Hillel’s new facility. This kid is not stopping anytime soon. She has big plans for 2023, including graduating from college, going on a Birthright Israel trip and extending her time abroad, and looking for her first job in the real world. I have no doubt she will continue to make us proud.
  3. We went to Disney World! – After sending two kids to college, we went with two of our best friends to Orlando, where we ate our way around EPCOT during the Food and Wine Festival. I also checked off a bucket list item by taking the behind-the-scenes tour, Keys to the Kingdom. Yes, I’m one of those adults who loves Disney, and we discovered that going to “the happiest place on Earth” is just as much fun with the kids and without them.
  4. My Phillies were in the World Series. – If you know me, you know I’m a die-hard Phillies fan. At the beginning of the season, I did not expect my team to make it to the playoffs, let alone the World Series. By the end of October, I was exhausted and elated. Although we didn’t win against the Houston Astros, we made them work hard for it. I was at the edge of my seat every night for each division, playoff, and championship game, cheering and yelling at the television, posting on Facebook, and loving every minute of it. We will get them next year.
  5. I discovered my kids are big Phillies fans too. – During the World Series, Jenna called me from college to tell me she wanted to come home and watch the games with us. No one in school seemed to share her excitement to her desired level. In the meantime, Andrew decided it wasn’t good enough to watch Game 3 of the World Series from his dorm room. So, he and two friends took SEPTA to Citizens Bank Park and bought tickets right before the game. They wound up in the Diamond Club section, which is pretty impressive.
  6. REUNITED! – One of the biggest moments of 2022 was traveling to Boston with my parents to reunite my dad with his brother after being separated for three years by the pandemic. Before COVID, they would see each other a few times a year. As they get older, those reunions are harder to make happen, and COVID made it even more difficult. My parents could have handled the trip on their own, but I didn’t want the stress of travel and getting around to be a giant obstacle for this special visit. This was also an opportunity to see my first cousins, who I don’t see often. We spent a lovely long weekend together, getting reacquainted and catching up. It is one of those memories I’ll always have with me.
  7. It’s the little things that make life so wonderful. – 2022 was made up of several small moments that brought me joy. In no particular order, here are a few of them: starting my day with a cup of coffee and doing the Wordle with my sister; going out for date nights, girls’ nights out, brunches, and book club meetings; walking around New Paltz, NY, with friends who are more like family during the day and hanging out by the campfire at night; taking writing classes, attending HippoCamp, exploring new independent bookstores and supporting local authors at book signings, and reading 33 books this year—19 of which were non-fiction and instrumental in helping me chose my 2023 word of the year.I hope you will come back tomorrow to find out what I chose… :)XO,
    Elisa

Empty Nester-ing 101

I don’t know when the first day of school is in our district this year. It’s not on my calendar nor my radar. When the school buses start to hold up traffic on Susquehanna Road at 7 am, that’s when I’ll know. Why? Because I’m an empty nester now. Jenna began her senior year of college a few weeks ago, and this weekend, we move Andrew into his dorm as he begins his college life.

YAY! It’s another life transition that I’m facing without a manual. While I am excited for them, I’m also sad this part of my life is over. Lately, depression has reared its ugly head and asked me questions like “Who am I without my kids?” and “What does my next chapter look like?” Answer: How the hell do I know?!

I’ve tried everything to tame the fear of the unknown, from retail therapy to real-life therapy, from journaling happy thoughts to crying in the car for no particular reason. Thanks to an amazing therapist and an incredibly supportive and loving husband, I’m learning it is okay to honor those low moments, but it’s also important to make plans, try new things, and stay busy.

In the coming months, I’ll have a lot to say about this empty nester business and how it’s going. For now, I’m staying positive and finding some silver linings. Here is what I’ve come up with so far:

  1. I don’t have to write my name, my husband’s name, our address, home phone number, cell phone numbers, work phone numbers, email addresses, and emergency contact information on dozens of forms (times two kids).
  2. I’m not writing multiple checks for pretzel days, picture days, field trips, or the school directory. Although, the checks are for much larger expenses now.
  3. Back to School nights, parent-teacher conferences, swim meets, dance classes, and track practices no longer need to be meticulously entered into my calendar. Carpools don’t need to be pre-arranged, and I am no longer held hostage by the school calendar. I can take a vacation in the middle of the Fall – and we are planning to! And the phrase “It’s a school night” is no longer an issue.
  4. This winter, we will not be rudely awakened by the sound of the house phone and mobile phones alerting us to school delays or snow days. Of course, I also won’t hear the cheering coming from the kids’ bedrooms as they celebrate having the day off.
  5. My workday won’t be sidelined by requests to drop off forgotten homework, textbooks, laptops, lunches, gym clothes, or swim bags.
  6. I don’t have to worry whether it’s an A day, B day, or any kind of block day. Not that I ever understood that system.
  7. The attendance office will no longer stalk me for an excused absence card. Who will they go after now that their most delinquent parent has moved on?

This list is a good start, but as I focus on the silver linings, I can’t help but see the things I’m going to miss most, like seeing their smiling (okay, often groggy) faces when they come downstairs for breakfast. Or talking about what happened that day at the dinner table. Instead of saying good morning to them, I’ll send them a text. And, I’ll go to bed wondering what they are doing instead of knowing they are in their bedrooms safe and sound. And yes, there is always FaceTime, but it isn’t the same. And yes, my son is going to school less than an hour away, but it isn’t the same. And yes, my daughter could move back home for a while after graduation, but it isn’t the same. Nothing is the same.

Welcome to my world. This is how my thoughts have fluctuated from happy to sad for most of the summer leading up to move-in day. I know change is supposed to happen, which is a good thing. I’ll embrace it. I’m excited to see where life takes them next, and I’m here for them when they need me. And they will. In the meantime, stay tuned for what the future holds for me – my life without a manual.

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