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Save Me A Dance

The last time I danced with my Dad was two years ago at my nephew Tyler’s bar mitzvah. I never say no to a dance with him, and I love to watch him on the dance floor with others. Not just because he is a good dancer but because the joy he exudes when he dances is contagious. Seriously, if I could bottle it up and sell it, I’d be a millionaire a few times over.

He hasn’t let his Parkinson’s diagnosis slow him down. Dancing is a wonderful form of exercise for people with Parkinson’s disease (PD). It helps strengthen muscles and reinforces balance. It also stimulates the mind and keeps depression at bay which is common among those with PD.

It’s also a lot of fun.

I’m hoping for many more dances with Dad, so I’m taking six minutes today to shine a light on PD. April is Parkinson’s Awareness Month, and someone is diagnosed with it every six minutes in the U.S. Parkinson’s disease is the second most common neurological disease after Alzheimer’s disease. More than 10 million people worldwide live with Parkinson’s—including my Dad. He was officially diagnosed in 2011 but probably lived with it for years before that. The cause is largely unknown, but research points to a combination of genetics and environmental causes, like pesticides. Coincidentally, there are at least four other people who worked in the same building as my Dad who has or had Parkinson’s, so environmental causes could very well be a factor in his case.

PD is a complex disease to diagnose because many of the symptoms are similar to what happens as we age—walking slowly and shuffling, losing balance, cognitive difficulties, limb stiffness, tremors, and so on. But PD affects dopamine-producing neurons in a specific section of the brain. Dopamine is associated with movement, attention, memory, and learning, and low levels cause various issues. People are typically diagnosed later in life, but early onset is also possible. There are treatments—medication, physical therapy, etc. but so far, no cure.

Research is crucial to finding a cure. I am currently enrolled in the Parkinson’s Progression Markers Initiative, a comprehensive research study funded by the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research. I’m also considering genetic testing to see if I have one of the three genes that indicate a higher risk factor for Parkinson’s. It turns out that I have family members on both sides who have been diagnosed with PD, but having the gene doesn’t mean I will ever develop the disease.

Getting off of my soapbox and back to my Dad. He is doing well. He has a terrific support system of friends and family and loves to keep in touch with everyone. And while I see changes in him as the years go by, I know there is still a lot of dancing left for us to do.

If you have a loved one, who has been diagnosed with PD or just want to learn more about this progressive neurological disease, check out the #Take6forPD campaign.

Life Without A Manual 2023

YOU GUYS!

I FOUND IT!

LOOK!

I FOUND THE MANUAL!

FINALLY!

All of my questions have now been answered, and if whatever else comes my way, I have THE MANUAL I need to tell me exactly what I need to do and everything I need to know about life.

APRIL FOOL!

I wish! Wouldn’t it be nice to have that manual on one of my many bookshelves? A guide to tell me how to tackle everything on my to-do list and live my best life?

Nope. Sorry. 😉 ,

The only thing I realized today is how much I still need that elusive manual, and the reasons seem to change with every passing year. When I launched this blog, “Life Without A Manual,” several years ago, my kids were in middle school and high school. I needed a manual for parenting teenagers, and since the “What to Expect” book series ended in the toddler years, I knew I was screwed. Thankfully, blogging allowed me to share my experiences with you, and in return, you gave me all the advice and support I needed.

Now – eight years later – my kids are young adults. They are away at college and are starting their own lives. One is graduating next month. (YIKES!). The other is just starting out in his college career. They still need me but in very different ways than before. And now, I can focus on my roles as a wife, an empty nester, a dog mom, and a member of the sandwich generation. I have a full-time job, and I’m writing a book on the side. Life is just as busy as it was when the kids were living here, and while I love this stage, a manual would still be helpful.

For example, where does my time go? I’ve got a lot of priorities and not enough hours in the day to attend to all of them. There are some days when I feel incredibly productive and others where I can’t seem to get it together. And although I know it isn’t true, it feels like everyone else gets more done than me in the same amount of time each day. What is their secret?!

Another question I’d like to answer is what I want to do with this next phase of my life. There is so much I still want to see and accomplish, and now that I’m over 50, I hear the clock ticking. I’ve never been to Europe – except for Greece, where I went on my honeymoon. Even then, I don’t think we saw as much of it as we would have liked. 😉 I keep telling my husband that this is the decade to do it while we have our health and the means to do it. He agrees, so it’s just a matter of when. Time to start planning!

Finally, how can I stay as healthy as possible for as long as possible? I know there is no shortcut to good health, but I’d like to find more enjoyable ways to do it and have it become an integral part of my life and not feel like another job. I want to live long enough to see my kids succeed in their chosen fields. I’d also like to become a published author and work toward that daily. And should I be so blessed, I want to meet my grandchildren and have a relationship with them. I’m not sure if that’s possible, but I hope to figure it out.

So, until I find THE MANUAL that gives me all the answers, I’m here processing everything through my writing and sharing those experiences with you. Comments welcome. Join me, won’t you?

One last thing, if you are new here and would like to read the origin story behind my blog’s name, it’s a good one – click here.

XO,
Elisa

In My Prime

Imagine my surprise when I woke up on my birthday to CNN host Don Lemon reporting that women my age are past their prime. It must be true because he said he googled it.

Happy birthday to me! 

At first, his co-hosts thought he was talking about our looks or our childbearing years—which was bad enough. However, he was referring to 2024 presidential candidate Nikki Hayley who was calling for age-based competency tests for politicians over 75. He commented on how she shouldn’t talk since she is not in her 20s, 30s, or 40s. According to him, she is “past her prime.”

That’s very interesting. You see, I would argue that at 52, I am in my prime, operating with a full deck of cards, and you, Mr. Lemon, are quite the joker.

As a communications professional, I’ve worked in the editorial, marketing, and production departments of several publishing companies. I have also been fortunate to work for three different non-profit organizations and helped raise millions of dollars for various worthy causes. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to travel, learn new skills, develop expertise in various areas, mentor others, and, above all, make a difference.

On the flip side, I learned a lot about myself after surviving a toxic work environment where bullying and gaslighting were the leadership styles embraced by my superiors. While I drank the Kool-Aid for the cause (or the lemonade, in this case), my creativity and confidence in my abilities were shattered. At the lowest point, I sat across the conference table from my boss, who informed me that they don’t fire people, but he said he “knew how to make people want to leave.”

From then on, I lived in fear of how his mandate would play out for my co-workers and me. In my case, I was ousted from my team without cause, moved to a different department, and replaced by a younger, less experienced male colleague. Thankfully, a few weeks into my new role, the COVID-19 pandemic forced us all to work from home. It was a difficult time for me and for the world, but it turned out the virus became the cure I needed to move on.

Speaking of which, I now feel valued and respected as a professional. In my current position, I can be thoughtful, strategic, and creative. Sometimes I succeed, and sometimes I don’t. I learn from my mistakes and take responsibility for my actions without fear of major consequences. I know what I need to be successful and am not afraid to ask for it. More support? Bigger budget? Deadline extensions? I have no problem putting the request out there for consideration. What’s the worst that can happen? If I don’t ask, the answer is always no. If it doesn’t work out, I don’t cry about it. I keep moving forward and do the best I can.

I don’t think I would be where I am today without an incredible support system at home. Without this entourage of people cheering me on and providing me with sound advice, I wouldn’t be my authentic self. My husband, children, parents, sister, and extended families have always been behind me, see my potential, and challenge me to keep going for all I aspire to become.

In addition to my incredible family, I have a spectacular group of men and women in my life to whom I can turn to for just about anything. Parenting advice, career coaching, travel tips, book recommendations, or just a glass of wine and a kind word. They are all a few blocks or a text, a FaceTime call, or a Zoom chat away. This wasn’t always the case for me. I’ve had my share of troubled relationships in high school and college, where I felt used or ignored by people I thought were my closest companions. But now, as we all navigate this crazy time in our lives sandwiched between aging parents and young adult children while still pursuing our dreams, I couldn’t ask for a better group of people to travel with down this road.

I’m not saying I am without faults or challenges. Patience has never been a virtue of mine. Anxiety is a beast I may never tame. I wish I were better organized so I could spend more time with my creative side and less time looking for my reading glasses. I often do my best work at the last minute, which makes my colleagues understandably nervous.

I’ve spent too much time fighting imposter syndrome rather than finishing my first book. But that will change soon. Being an empty nester means I have more time doing what I love most—writing, reading, exploring indie bookstores, attending author events and writing workshops, and being a good literary citizen.

At this point in my life, I know exactly who I am. It took me a while to get here, but I’ve earned every wrinkle and grey hair along the way. I have collected past experiences and channeled them into the wisdom I wished for when I was younger.

So, you see, Mr. Lemon. I am in my prime. My aces are lined up, and my heart is in the right place. I still shine like a diamond and have had good fortune in spades. I can still play a good hand, and I am not ready to fold. In fact, I am all in.

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