My Not-So-Secret Writing Life

It’s not a well-kept secret that I’ve been working on a memoir for quite some time. Every once in a while, I’ll come across old New Year’s resolutions on Facebook where more than once I’ve written: “I’m going to finish my book this year!” And then, another year goes by without a completed first draft.

Recently, one of my best friends asked me how the writing was going. I was so touched. She has always supported my work, and it’s been a while since someone asked me that question. Unfortunately, I didn’t know how to respond. I think my answer to her wound up being an enthusiastic one like – “It’s going well! Thanks for asking!” – without going into too much detail.

Here’s the truth: I write every single day. I wake up and wonder what I’ll write about that day. I see stories and content all around me and immediately want to put my spin on it. Most of the time, I write for my job as a nonprofit communications professional. I write (and rewrite 😉 ) marketing emails, impact stories, leadership spotlights, website and social media copy, fundraising campaigns, and so much more. I love having a career that allows me to use my skills and talent to write for good causes. And I know my work experience enhances my overall writing journey.

But I’m also trying to spend just as much time here on my laptop writing my book, and that’s not always easy. This means I have to put myself first. I’ve invested time and money to learn more about my craft through professional development classes, writing workshops, and reading countless books and articles. With all the writing, editing, proofreading, and learning I’ve done over the last decade, I’m sure I have a complete manuscript by now. And yet, I have nothing to point to and say, “Ta-da!”

So what’s the problem? The problem is that personal writing projects have always taken a backseat in my daily life. Sometimes it’s because I sit in front of a computer all day and have nothing left after the workday. Other times, writer’s block or imposter syndrome kicks in, and I’m completely helpless. And there have been plenty of times that I write and write and write because I have so much to say and can’t type the words fast enough. Now that I’m an empty-nester, my schedule is much more open, and my mindset is focused on writing this book. But that’s not enough. I need a plan of attack. Here are some changes I’m already putting into place.

  • Making the Time – I’ve already told my husband that I’m carving out at least an hour a day to write, if not more. I’m also getting out of bed earlier than normal to get ready for work, leaving time for me to be creative. I’ve even traded in most of my TV time and doom-scrolling for blogging or reading because reading other people’s work is an important part of my process.
  • Writing with Friends – I’ve committed to two writing challenges and half a dozen in-person workshops this summer. (I told you I meant business 🙂 ). The first is the Ultimate Blog Challenge which requires me to write one blog daily for the entire month of July. I love this not only because of the writing, but we also support others doing the challenge by commenting on their posts as well. It’s a supportive online community of incredibly talented literary citizens. The other challenge is with the Philly Writers Workshop. Every week, I am paired with a classmate to exchange new pieces written in 15-minute blocks of time for positive feedback. This challenge is designed to help us all get into a routine I desperately need. These projects bring me joy and hopefully get me closer to finishing my book.
  • No More Negative Self-Talk – I need to stop telling myself no one wants to read what I write or will care about my stories. It’s a lie I tell myself that causes me to procrastinate even further. So, I’m not going to worry about writing the perfect memoir, whether I’m the right person to write this book, or if I sell a million copies. And no more lying about not being good enough. I am good enough.
  • A Little Detective Work – I need to dig through previous posts, read old workshop prompts, review past submissions, and then organize what I have written and see what remains to be said. I may have a complete manuscript and not even know it. Wouldn’t that be nice? A girl can only dream.

What other things should I be doing that I can include in my plan? I’m all ears – or eyes. Add your thoughts in the comments!

XO,
Elisa

My Bedroom is Messy

Not my bedroom. 🙂

I read somewhere that you should treat your primary bedroom as a relaxing oasis. A beautiful space in your home that is calm, peaceful, and inviting. A place where you can leave all of your worries at its threshold and put your feet up in a luxurious king-size bed where you get the best sleep of your life. It’s well-lit and decorated to your liking. And nothing is there to distract you except for the book you are reading or your favorite tv show, and you have all the time in the world to enjoy it.

Do my friends have bedrooms like this? Or am I only seeing these havens in home décor magazines and on HGTV? I can tell you one thing – my bedroom is nothing like this. It’s messy. And when I say messy, I don’t mean dirty. In fact, it’s quite clean. It’s just not neat. Sometimes, I refer to my room as a “sorting station” for wayward sunscreen bottles, lost coffee mugs, and unopened mail. It’s also the spot where I can’t decide what to wear, critique myself in the mirror, and wonder if I’ll ever lose the pandemic weight. And more than anywhere else in the house, this room has witnessed every emotion I possess, from depression to delight. Instead of calling it an oasis, I’d describe it as more of a lived-in corner of the house where I can just be myself.

I would love to prioritize cleaning up my room, but by the time I straighten up the more public-facing rooms in the house, I’m not inclined to tackle this one too. I do the minimum tasks during the week to make it less chaotic. I make my bed every morning. I hang up the clean clothes and put the dirty ones in the hamper. I do the best I can to manage the clutter. On weekends, I sort through the odds and ends that don’t belong. When I feel particularly motivated, I’ll reorganize my closet and straighten up my pajama drawer. Once in a while, I’ll have a bag of donations ready to go, but it might sit for a few weeks before I call Purple Heart.

Besides my husband, my kids, and twice a month, my cleaning people, no one else comes in here to look around and judge me. So maybe it is a different kind of oasis after all.

June 2023 Book Report

Summer is my favorite time of the year to read. The days are long, and the weather is perfect for sitting by the pool or on my patio engrossed in a story. I like beach reads that are page-turners, mysteries I can’t put down, juicy celebrity memoirs filled with gossip, historical fiction that exposes me to a whole new world or culture, and family dramas that serve as an escape from reality.

I consider myself a fast reader, but it’s been quite a while since I finished a book in one day. The last time that happened was when we went to Punta Cana, and I only brought three novels for a seven-day trip. What was I thinking?! I finished those books quickly because we sat on the beach all day. By Wednesday, I was desperate for a new novel and so happy when I came across a cart of wayward books other hotel guests had left behind. Crisis averted!

Lately, I’ve been spending time refamiliarizing myself with my TBR pile. I’m almost embarrassed to say that between the print books on my shelves, the novels downloaded on my Kindle, and the audiobooks on my iPhone, I own about 200 titles I haven’t read yet. Some people have a TBR pile, and that’s cute. I have a TBR TOWER (yes, all caps are necessary here because it’s a big tower) with books. I had all good intentions of reading next but never did. As I went through each title in the TOWER,  I remembered what it was that intrigued me about the book and found myself getting excited all over again to read it.

So, I’ve decided to only read the books from my TOWER for the month of July (except for any library holds that come through. I have four titles on hold right now). In no particular order, here are the books I want to read in July:

  • “The Perfect Marriage” by Jeneva Rose (Audiobook)
  • The Maid by Nita Prose (Kindle e-book and my book club’s next pick)
  • “Loyalty” by Lisa Scottoline (Hardback book because I wanted it so bad, I spent $30 on it.)
  • “The Most Likely Club” by Elyssa Friedland (Kindle e-book)
  • “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” by Elizabeth Gilbert – (This will be a re-read for me, which I rarely do. However, it’s been a few years since I read it, and I could use a boost in the creativity department)

But before I dive into my mini-TBR pile (yes, it’s a cute little manageable pile again). Let me tell you about the books I read in June.

Happy Place by Emily Henry

This is the IT beach read of the summer. It’s been on the New York Times bestseller list for nine weeks and is at Number Two as I write this. There was so much hype surrounding this book which can sometimes be a problem for me. Here is the setup: boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, have lots of good sex, and get engaged. Then, boy dumps girl without explanation and doesn’t tell their friends about their breakup, and they are all vacationing together somewhere in Maine – their happy place.

I hated it. But let me tell you why.

I admit that I’m not a romance reader. If romance is part of a larger story, that’s fine, but if romance is the entire story, it’s not always for me. However, I’ve enjoyed other books by this writer, so I had no problem spending one of my precious Audible credits on it. Unfortunately, I found these characters to be privileged and immature for their age (mid-thirties). The conflicts in the book could have been easily fixed if the characters had talked to each other – but I guess it wouldn’t make it a bestselling book, right? The whole plot trope of huge misunderstandings due to miscommunication and then stretching it out for 400 pages was super annoying. I wanted to reach in and strangle most of the characters because I wasn’t rooting for any of them. By the sixth hour of a seven-and-a-half-hour audiobook experience, I DNF’d the book. I couldn’t take it anymore, and I’m glad I did because I know how it ended, and that ending would have pissed me off as well. But I’m still counting this book toward my Goodreads goal because it is six hours I will never get back.


The Soulmate by Sally Hepworth

In my opinion, this is the book that should have been the IT book for the summer. A young family moves into a beautiful house that overlooks a cliff. They love everything about the house except that it is a popular location for people to come and commit suicide. Gabe, the husband, prides himself on having talked seven people from jumping, but one night he is unsuccessful, and a young woman dies.

This thriller unfolds with the perfect mix of flashbacks and present-day events told from the perspectives of both Gabe’s wife, Pippa – who wonders if her husband pushed her off that cliff – and Amanda – the woman who died. Throughout the book, marriages unravel, family secrets come to light, and lives change forever. It was the perfect beach read for me.

This author does a masterful job of toggling between the storylines of the two women and still writes a suspenseful story that kept me turning pages until late at night. Sometimes, the character development is lacking when you have a great story, but not in this book. I loved the main characters and the minor players with important roles in the book. I especially liked the children, the coffee shop owner, and the bodyguard. Highly recommend!


The Church of Baseball: The Making of Bull Durham by Ron Shelton

When I’m not reading, I’m probably watching a Phillies game on television. Baseball is in my blood, and I count baseball movies like Field of Dreams, Bull Durham, and Moneyball as some of my favorites. When I heard this author and movie director talking about his new book on a recent podcast, I immediately put it on hold at the library. Last year, I read “Off the Cliff” about the making of Thelma and Louise, which was excellent. So, it was time for me to dive into another Hollywood story.

The Church of Baseball was a fun read. Usually, my favorite parts of these books are the behind-the-scenes stories you won’t hear anywhere else. In this book, I also thoroughly enjoyed the author’s writing process and how he sold the movie. His commitment to the story and the actors was admirable, and he wasn’t willing to budge. I can’t imagine this movie without Kevin Costner, Tim Robbins, and Susan Sarandon, but movie producers and other bigwigs were skeptical about the casting choices for Nuke and Annie. In the end, Bull Durham became a classic baseball movie that is a must-watch whenever I catch it on television.

The one thing that I felt was missing from this Hollywood story was a woman’s touch. “The Church of Baseball” was told from the director’s point of view using the notes from interviews he did with the cast and crew. It was a movie made in a man’s world with Susan Sarandon basically invited to the party. “Off the Cliff: How The Making of Thelma and Louise Drove Hollywood to the Edge” discussed the groundbreaking movie from all perspectives. The actresses (including Sarandon) shared their stories and love for the film. The screenwriter and much of the crew were women trying to break into the business and earn respect from a male-dominated field. They shared their insights on the making of this movie too. And the reader comes to appreciate that this action movie with two female leads was unheard of back in the 80s and was a blockbuster. Both of these films came out around the same time and are both classics. But in my opinion, only one of these films broke the glass ceiling, which made the book and the movie that much better.

How is your summer reading going? Let me know in the comments!

XO,
Elisa

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