Where Ya Been?!

“How come you haven’t written a blog post lately?”

“What books are you reading?

“Where ya been?”

I’m getting these questions a lot lately, so I thought it was time for an update. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written anything new here. But I can’t say there hasn’t been anything to write about. If you follow me on Facebook, you already know my husband and I found ourselves unemployed this summer. This has put our household into what can only be described as Life Without A Manual on steroids.

Every day, we are updating and sending out resumes, writing cover letters, networking with others, and managing our stress levels. Our daily lives of running errands, checking in with our children, keeping up with the dishes and laundry, and helping our parents has stayed the same. This new normal has brought on a whole new level of busyness to our days, and sadly for me, writing blog posts had to take a backseat. But, now that we are settling into a routine, I’ll post more often. (Stay tuned for the 31 day Ultimate Blog Challenge starting October 1st).

While there are tons of webinars, books, and articles to read about how to conduct a job search, it’s the emotional toll that no one manual can cover. Luckily, I have my therapist on speed dial these days to help me navigate the anxiety and uncertainty. What I know for sure is that this situation is a blip. We are going to be fine, and I am confident we will find new positions soon.

For now, we wake up at 6 am (ok, sometimes 7 am), have breakfast, walk the dog, make our to-do lists, settle into our home offices, drink lots of coffee, and look for new jobs. We talk about the opportunities that come our way and whether they are a good fit. We encourage each other to do our best, celebrate successes, and lift each other up when things don’t go as we had hoped. Sundays are extra special around here because we file our weekly unemployment claims together over a glass of white wine. It’s our new date night.

Romantic, right?! 🙂

And throughout all of this, we are incredibly grateful for so many things, and I want to make mention of them here.

Friends and Family

From our parents, siblings, and kids to our aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends, everyone has been so supportive. Whether it is introducing us to someone who might be able to help, offering to look at our resumes, reminding us that we are both marketable and worthy, treating us to an Eagles game, or just checking in, we are lucky to have each and every one of them in our lives.

One day, I called one of my closest friends and asked her to do me big a favor. I was feeling all the love and support coming at me, but I needed something different. Every day I wasn’t working blurred together into the next. I was feeling what Pink Floyd would refer to as comfortably numb. I was unfocused, unproductive, and exhausted which is the complete opposite of who I am under normal circumstances. So, I asked her to give me a pep talk to snap me out of it and get my ass in gear. She happily obliged.

It takes a village to get through these tough times. I am forever grateful for our village.

Networking

The last time I looked for a job, LinkedIn was a huge help. Now, it is our new best friend and sometimes a third wheel at the dinner table. What surprises me most about LinkedIn is how generous people are on the platform. Several former colleagues have written thoughtful recommendations on my page about projects we worked on together. Another friend who is a photographer is taking a new headshot of me for my profile this weekend. I have also reconnected with people who I have admired from a distance who met me for coffee and shared sound advice and plenty of ideas to consider. My husband has felt the same support over LinkedIn, and we both see it as an essential tool to our search.

The funny thing about my LinkedIn network is that about a quarter of my contacts are people I have only met a handful of times in person. There is one woman who sends me job postings on a regular basis. Today, I had lunch with someone I met years ago at seminar where I was a speaker. I’ve also been introduced to people who don’t know me at all, but we were connected by a mutual friend. What a leap of faith to be willing to spend time with someone you’ve never even met before! I’ve had wonderful conversations with those people and hope they continue to happen.

During one of our walks, my husband and I thought back to what job searches looked like when we first started out. Remember when we used to print out and mail resumes and cover letters to potential employers? Who else here looked for a job in the Sunday classified ads section of the newspaper? It’s a whole different world now and for those who don’t think LinkedIn is for them, I encourage you to take a second look. If you are in the middle of a job search, the LinkedIn Premium level is worth the extra money. If not, stick with the free version, post often, and stay in touch with people. You never know how you can be of assistance to others or when you will need help in your own career.

The Little Things

There have been some silver linings over the last few weeks. We vacationed in Bar Harbor, ME and explored Acadia National Park without being tied to our laptops  or worried about deadlines. And there was no vacation hangover to deal with while sorting through tons of emails and playing catch up when we returned.

Also, my reading life has never been better. I finished six titles in August and one so far in September. But that’s a topic for a different blog post.

Maybe the nicest part is being able to take time for some self-care and allow myself to recharge, regroup, and figure out what’s next and what’s best for me. I know I want to do something creative and meaningful in my career. I prefer working in a hybrid situation, but can work on-site or remote. Traveling for work is something I miss and can do more of now that we are empty nesters. I know my dream job is still out there somewhere. I just need to be patient.

And finally, I have time for what I love to do most—writing and blogging. Hopefully, you will keep reading and commenting. Deal? 🙂

XO,

Elisa

Wake Up Time

I have a new alarm clock that works well — a little too well. It wakes me up immediately from a restful sleep and propels me out of bed without hesitation. That’s what alarm clocks were built for, right?

Except this particular alarm makes no sound, and there is no snooze button to push. It’s actually not a clock at all. It’s my bladder.

Like clockwork, my bladder wakes me up religiously to get up and pee in the middle of the night. By the time the alarm on my iPhone chimes at a normal hour, I’ve been up and down at least twice. My bladder leaves me no choice. When I try to reason with it, my bladder practically dares me to fall back to sleep, making it impossible to do so. I leave a perfectly comfortable bed and head to the bathroom.

In order to reduce these early wake-up calls, there are a few habits I apparently need to change. The first is to stop drinking anything two hours before bedtime. I also have to watch what I’m drinking. I’ve identified diet iced tea as the beverage that fills my bladder the fastest and supplies it with free refills all night long. So, no more Snapple with dinner. When I was younger, repetitive visits to the bathroom were known as breaking the seal after a night of drinking wine coolers. That was so much more fun! How sad it is that a non-alcoholic drink has the same effect.

My husband sleeps through this, but our dog takes full advantage of the situation. She is the one I have to shoo into the middle of the bed when I come back from the bathroom. Chloe will take this opportunity to stretch out and rearrange herself on my side of the bed. It always amazes me how much room she takes up.

I may have to experiment with my bedtime to accommodate these changes. If I push my bedtime to midnight instead of 10:30 pm, I should be able to enjoy a glass of wine at dinner or drink a Blue Moon while watching the Phillies game. Maybe that will reduce my trips to the bathroom.

I’m sure you are on the edge of your seat now, so I’ll keep you posted.  

XO,

Elisa

July 2023 Book Report

I had a goal to read 12 books this summer. I didn’t think it would be difficult since I average about four books a month anyway. Since summer doesn’t officially end until mid-September, I had a good shot. Maybe I still do, I read three books in June, but I only read one in July.

I had a tough month. I was depressed, and my regular dose of Zoloft wasn’t cutting it. I had enough energy to work and watch baseball games, and that was it. Reading felt like a chore rather than a welcome escape. After finishing the one good book early in the month (which I’ll get to in a minute), I borrowed Did You Hear about Kitty Karr? from the library. But I returned it the next day after hearing a reviewer say it was a great story with a slow burn. In book-speak, this means it could take a while for readers to get into the story and reach the good parts. I knew this wasn’t the time for a challenge. I was already feeling challenged enough.

Did Not Finish (DNF)

I also DNF’d This Time Tomorrow, which I put down at one point and never picked back up. I thought it would be easy to jump back into the story, but as I began to read, I remembered why I didn’t like it in the first place. This hurt my heart and my pocketbook because I was halfway into the book and bought it as a hardcover when it first came out. These two strikes cost me time and money—two things I hate to waste. But I had to let it go. I donated it to the swim club library.

A Five-Star Read

The one book I did enjoy was The Perfect Marriage by Jeneva Rose. I listened to it for three days straight on Audible. I hung on to every word and plot twist until the final chapter, which brought about an unexpected but fantastic ending. Here is the set-up. A top-notch defense attorney and her husband, a struggling writer, have what seems to be the perfect marriage. They have career success, beautiful homes, and a great life. But everything changes when the husband’s mistress turns up stabbed to death in their marital bed. Of course, he is the primary suspect and looks guilty as hell, but he insists he didn’t do it. Heartbroken, the wife decides she is the best attorney and the only one that can defend him. As the mystery unfolds, there are many other characters who had the motive to kill her. With each new clue revealed, I found myself changing my mind as to “who dunnit,” which made this a lot of fun to read.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who loved The Plot or The Silent Patient. This is a book you won’t soon forget, and listening to the audiobook was an added bonus.

No Book Buy July

The other challenge I put upon myself was not buying any books for the entire month. I wanted to save a little money and couldn’t justify bringing more books home when I already had so many unread ‘must-have’ novels. Still, a little retail therapy might have come in handy. When I’m depressed, I like nothing better than passing the time in an indie bookstore. The hunt for a new book feels productive to me, and being present amongst a community of readers always brings me joy. Instead, I tried to find that joy in the comfort of my bookshelves or at the local library. I’m not saying that denying myself the pleasure of buying books added to my depression. But it might have made it a little harder to bear.

Happy August!

I’m happy to say that I am doing much better. The new medicine has kicked in. I have more energy for reading and for life in general. I’ve already purchased two new books and am halfway through the first one now. I will continue to shop my shelves in August because I know I have some five-star books I can dive into. I’m not going to make a list of books that I promise to read this month. I will ease back into the reading life, pick up books I’m in the mood to read, and hope I have more of them to review next time.

What have you been reading lately? 

XO,

Elisa

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