Wake Up Time

I have a new alarm clock that works well — a little too well. It wakes me up immediately from a restful sleep and propels me out of bed without hesitation. That’s what alarm clocks were built for, right?

Except this particular alarm makes no sound, and there is no snooze button to push. It’s actually not a clock at all. It’s my bladder.

Like clockwork, my bladder wakes me up religiously to get up and pee in the middle of the night. By the time the alarm on my iPhone chimes at a normal hour, I’ve been up and down at least twice. My bladder leaves me no choice. When I try to reason with it, my bladder practically dares me to fall back to sleep, making it impossible to do so. I leave a perfectly comfortable bed and head to the bathroom.

In order to reduce these early wake-up calls, there are a few habits I apparently need to change. The first is to stop drinking anything two hours before bedtime. I also have to watch what I’m drinking. I’ve identified diet iced tea as the beverage that fills my bladder the fastest and supplies it with free refills all night long. So, no more Snapple with dinner. When I was younger, repetitive visits to the bathroom were known as breaking the seal after a night of drinking wine coolers. That was so much more fun! How sad it is that a non-alcoholic drink has the same effect.

My husband sleeps through this, but our dog takes full advantage of the situation. She is the one I have to shoo into the middle of the bed when I come back from the bathroom. Chloe will take this opportunity to stretch out and rearrange herself on my side of the bed. It always amazes me how much room she takes up.

I may have to experiment with my bedtime to accommodate these changes. If I push my bedtime to midnight instead of 10:30 pm, I should be able to enjoy a glass of wine at dinner or drink a Blue Moon while watching the Phillies game. Maybe that will reduce my trips to the bathroom.

I’m sure you are on the edge of your seat now, so I’ll keep you posted.  



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