Archive of ‘Life Without A Manual’ category

Hanukkah 2023

Happy Hanukkah!

In many Jewish circles, Hanukkah is considered “a minor holiday.” This is because its observance is not required in the Torah, like Rosh Hashanah and Passover. And yet, so many of my Jewish memories come from celebrating Hanukkah with family. So, I don’t think I can ever discount it.

More importantly, this is a time of year when diversity and inclusion should shine like the candles on a Hanukkah menorah or a Kwanzaa kinara. With the rise of blatant antisemitism and racism in this country and around the world, it seems even more critical this year to celebrate all of these festivals.

Here are a few of my favorite family Hanukkah stories to share with you. I hope you will share your holiday memories (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or others) in the comments.

Hanukkah Then

As far as gifts go, my parents were quite creative. One year, we were told to open the hall closet, where we found two brand new high school jackets hanging there with our names and graduation years embroidered on them. Another time, we were given fuzzy socks, but stuffed inside were tickets to a show. I think it was Annie, but I can’t remember for sure.

The best present was when my sister and I unwrapped small phone books and told us to turn to K for our last name. There, we found our own phone number! We were getting our own phone line! For those of you who weren’t born before cell phones, the value of this gift is the equivalent of unwrapping your first iPhone.

Besides gift giving, we lit the menorah, ate potato latkes with sour cream or applesauce (or both!) and jelly doughnuts, and played dreidel for chocolate coins and M&Ms. We shopped at the annual Hanukkah Bazaar. We learned the three blessings and the Hebrew and English versions of Maoz Tzur (Rock of Ages) in Sunday school. We heard the story of the Maccabees fighting for religious freedom every year. However, we could never agree on the correct spelling of Hanukkah. It’s a good thing spelling didn’t count in Hebrew school.

Then & Now

By the time my kids were born, Hanukkah had moved way past the Dreidel song at holiday concerts. Jewish songwriters everywhere must have had a meeting and decided we needed more. I’m sure lots of latkes, doughnuts, and gelt were served to foster divine inspiration. And although we don’t have as many songs like Christmas carols, this year, Jewish acapella groups have put out not one but TWO Taylor Swift Hanukkah song mashups — here and here. Pretty cool!

One year, I decided to make homemade latkes for Andrew’s preschool class. Unfortunately, I didn’t know not to put all the potato peelings down the garbage disposal. We had to call a plumber, and those latkes cost me $350! Happy Hanukkah to me!

Another year, I asked a cashier at the grocery store if she had anything other than Christmas stamps for sale. It was one of the few years I was sending out holiday cards and didn’t want to send them affixed with Santa stamps to everyone on my list. I had to explain to the cashier why Santa was not representative of my holiday, nor were the stamps with the candy canes and decorated pine trees. I don’t think she ever caught on to what I was saying; she just got annoyed. Exasperated, I bought American flag stamps instead. I remember that story often when I’m at the post office and see menorah and kinara stamps available for purchase.

A few weeks ago, I was astounded to find an entire aisle of Hanukkah decorations. A WHOLE AISLE! I stumbled upon it at Home Goods and was floored. Typically, Hanukkah décor is relegated to an end cap or one shelf of dreidels and wrapping paper. You’ve seen them (or maybe you walked right by it). It’s a sad representation of our otherwise joyful holiday. I don’t expect that trend to end anytime soon, and I live in a fairly Jewish neighborhood.

Support the Jewish Community this Hanukkah

This is a tough time for our community as we are witnessing the old adage, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.” It’s actually pretty scary. I have had conversations with friends who are afraid to put menorahs in their windows for fear of retaliation. Even something as simple as a Jewish star necklace or a kippah may be deemed too risky to wear in public these days.

If you want to show your support, look up Project Menorah to print a paper menorah and hang it in your window  —even if you aren’t Jewish. For my Jewish friends, take out all your menorahs and light as many as possible to shine a brighter light into the world. And one menorah for the hostages still being held by Hamas, who can’t celebrate this year.

I don’t want to end this post on a sad note, so here are some photos of my family celebrating Hanukkah over the years.

Photos of my family at Hanukkah throughout the years.

I wish everyone a happy, healthy, and safe holiday season.

XO,
Elisa

October 2023 Book Report

Yesterday, I enjoyed lunch with relatives who love to read. We exchanged titles we liked and gave a few brief book reviews. I learned that I come from a long line of avid readers, and we all have similar tastes in books. It was a joy to talk about our favorites and how much we love the book clubs we belong to.

This month, I didn’t read a lot of books. I couldn’t settle on something I wanted to read, so finding the right book for my mood took time. Some readers can select a pile of books and read through them. Unfortunately –or fortunately– I get easily distracted by the other books on my shelf. I guess it’s a nice problem to have, so I can’t complain.

Luckily, I picked one terrific book this month and gave it five stars. So, without further ado…

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

If you don’t mind a book with unlikeable characters, this is the perfect read for you. Fair warning: There is no character to root for in this novel, but I promise you they are all fascinating in their own right.

But let me back up. Yellowface is about two talented women writers, one more successful than the other. Athena is an Asian-American woman who has published award-winning bestsellers, has loads of fans, and has attained celebrity status in the publishing world. June published one novel that met mixed reviews and editors and publishers that ghosted her left and right. No one is asking her to write something new, and her dream to become a famous writer is fading fast.

The women have had a like/loathe friendship since college, and jealousy runs rampant between them. One night, while the two of them are having dinner in Athena’s apartment, Athena dies suddenly in a freak choking accident. She leaves behind a manuscript of legacy potential about Chinese labor workers, which June snatches up and makes into her own book. Soon, June –now known as Juniper Song–gets all the attention she ever wanted as a writer. Some are suspicious that this novel was really hers. Juniper/June can fend off her doubters for a while, but eventually, they haunt her until she can’t take it anymore.

Yellowface is a satirical look at the writing life and the publishing world. The author also weaves in extreme narcissism, white privilege, online mystery, and the shocking lengths one will go to keep the truth secret. You don’t have to be a writer to appreciate the twists and turns here, and the ending is immensely satisfying.

I listened to this book on Audible and was entertained from start to finish. If you read and enjoyed “Such a Fun Age” by Kiley Reid, I think you will also like the similar themes of race and privilege, the friendship trope, and social commentary in this book.

Nonfiction November

I’m a big fan of nonfiction books. My favorite is memoir and personal essay collections, but I’m also a history buff and a trivia nerd. This combination of interests leads me to pick up anything I find interesting.

I already blogged about “Surely You Can’t Be Serious: The Making of Airplane!” here, but I’m adding one caveat to my previous review. Buying the book is definitely better than listening to it on Audible. While visiting an indie bookstore, I paged through the actual book and realized it was in a scrapbook format. Kind of like a keepsake or a souvenir and less like a book. Had I known this beforehand, I would have mentioned it because it is difficult to translate that format into an audio version. Nevertheless, I still didn’t care for it because it was more about the writers than the movie, which was disappointing.

I’m also in the middle of a few business books, including “Digital Body Language,” which is teaching me how to best connect with colleagues, customers, and cohorts online. So much miscommunication can happen when a rogue punctuation mark, the wrong emoji, or the tone of a text message is used and incorrectly perceived. Not to mention, rectifying the confusion from that communication can waste valuable time in the workday. Whether through a Zoom meeting, a Slack channel, or a simple email, there are ways to be much more effective, and I know I will be an even better communicator after I finish this nonfiction gem. FYI: I checked this book out at the library, returned it, and bought a hard copy for my bookshelf. That’s how much I want to have it handy when I start working again.

I’m hoping to have a much more productive reading life this month. Sadly, my Goodreads goal is looking like a pipe dream, but I’m still hopeful. As always, I’m open to suggestions, so tell me –what have you been reading lately?

XO,

Elisa

Lawn Sign or Bullseye?

As I drive around, I see lawn signs along the side of the road promoting candidates running for office. These signs aim to draw the attention of those who drive by in the hopes of gaining some name recognition.

When I get closer to home, I see similar signs advertising the upcoming Turkey Trot 5K race, the fall festival next weekend, and the local contractor installing my neighbor’s new kitchen. All of these lawn signs are innocuous and ubiquitous.

Two weeks ago, my synagogue was selling “I Stand with Israel” lawn signs for congregants to take home and display proudly. I was excited to buy one before they ran out, but when I arrived home, I had second thoughts.

I was afraid to put the sign on my lawn.

Hear me out. I live in a fantastic neighborhood that prides itself on its diversity. Our best friends practice different religions, and we like to celebrate holidays together. My family is far from the only Jewish one on my street and in the community. When the war in Ukraine broke out, many lawn signs and flags popped up in everyone’s front yards. We put one up, too, in support of our Ukrainian neighbors down the street from us.

So, why the hesitation? Why should displaying my “I Stand With Israel” sign be any different?

Because it is different.

Because there is so much misinformation out there about the war between Israel and the terrorist group Hamas.

Because people are getting their news from unreliable and unconfirmable sources and taking it at face value. Flashy headlines sell papers. Retractions and apologies are never front and center.

Because Israel is the only country that is blamed for defending itself against its enemies. Antisemitic tropes about Israel’s right to fight against terrorist aggression can be found in syndicated editorial cartoons, podcasts, and college campuses everywhere.

Because there are people in this world who have hate in their hearts, easy access to automatic weapons, and no self-control.

Because this war is against a terrorist group whose sole mission is to eradicate the Jewish people.

While one might say it’s only a lawn sign, I can also see it as putting a target on our front door. I spoke with a few of my Jewish friends about this, and they generally agreed with me. Several of them told me they have started to wonder where they would hide if terrorism came to our doorsteps. I’ve never had that thought in my life until now, and in today’s political climate, it doesn’t seem that far-fetched.

I’m sure other people — Jewish or not — will think I’m overreacting. But, here’s the thing. At the end of the day, I know who I am, and I don’t feel the need to advertise it. Instead, I will continue to wear my Jewish star around my neck, practice my faith, observe holidays, attend synagogue, write my blog. call out misinformation on social media, and pray for strength and peace.

What would you do?

XO,

Elisa

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