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Awesome Swim Moms

I am at the age when making new friend groups doesn’t happen all that often anymore.

Between my husband and I, we already have high school friends, college friends, work friends, synagogue friends, and neighborhood friends.

I think the last time we made a set of new friends was after my daughter was born. Every weekend, we took her to endless birthday parties and preschool events which paved the way for what continues to be years of wonderful friendships. When she started kindergarten, we made even more friends. Let’s face it. First children are friend magnets.

By the time, our son was born though, we already had a well-established social circle. Sure, we met other parents who shared the same classrooms and weekend activities as we did and we laughed and talked and schmoozed, but for some reason the friendships never really stuck. This always made me sad because they are the nicest people and had we met them the first time around, things might be different.

But this year, we miraculously found a new friend group. After Andrew joined the high school swim team, we were invited to a party at the beginning of the season. I admit I was a little reluctant to go because I didn’t know many people. But that one party changed my mind instantly. As soon as we introduced ourselves as the parents of a freshman swimmer, we were literally embraced by the other parents as if we had been there for years. And by the end of the night, I’m happy to say that we made some amazing new friends.

Friends to work the snack bar with at swim meets. Friends who saved seats for us when the stands above the pool deck were crowded with parents. Friends that I could text in my newly-minted “Awesome Swim Moms” group chat and within 3 text messages learned what brand of purple shampoo was best to use on my son’s bleach blond hair- a tradition among the swim team members.

And even though swim season is over, our friendships are secure as ever as we sit at water polo games and carpool for lifeguard training. Each family belongs to a different swim club so there is already talk of spending our summers together.

I didn’t think it would be possible to find a new friend group. But my fellow swim moms are a rare find and we are all becoming fast friends and this fish out of water is forever grateful for all of them.

 

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On the Nose

Do you need a Kleenex? Do you have a cold?

If you spend enough time with me, you will inevitably ask one of the above questions. Why? Because I sniffle–like a lot.

Until recently, I hadn’t looked into why this is the case. After all, this isn’t anywhere near an emergency medical situation. I can breathe fine and my seasonal allergies are treated regularly. But, recently, I began to notice how often people ask about my “cold.” My office is an open floor plan so you can imagine how annoying I must be to my co-workers. Of course, they are too polite to say anything.

I admit that there is another reason I’ve been reluctant to do anything about this condition. Years ago, I had a traumatic experience at an allergist appointment. (Sniff. Sniff.) With very little warning, this jerk – I mean doctor –  stuck a scope so far up my nose I thought at one point it was behind my eyeball. I had to lay down in the waiting room afterwards because I was so freaked out and his lack of a bedside manner did not help. So, I haven’t been keen on a return visit to get this resolved.

And then, one day I had a face-to-face appointment with someone I met on LinkedIn to interview for a book I’m working on. It took her less than 5 minutes to hand me a tissue box and inquire about my non-existent cold. First impressions being what they are, this was the last straw.

I called a family friend who is an ENT and made an appointment. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious about it. Anxiety is a funny thing. I tried to talk myself off the ledge by spending the entire day convincing myself that after giving birth to 2 children, enduring multiple dental procedures and a colonoscopy, I can handle a scope up my nose. Right?

Anxiety can be a crippling thing, Even for something as minor as this. But, my anxiety teaches me an important lesson that I continue to re-learn. When I empower myself to face the things I once feared, I am better for it in the long run.

And I’m proud of myself because I can honestly say that it was a much better experience this time around and thankfully I didn’t pass out. And although my blood pressure told a different story,  I was finally able to relax and take charge.

 

 

21st Century Jury Duty – A Guest Post

Why everyone cringes when they get a summons for jury duty by Jackie Diamond
You get the summons in the mail and immediately you’re like, “oh sh*t”. You’re not alone. The majority of us cringe at the prospect of serving on jury duty. Now some of you are going to tell me that it’s our civic duty to serve on a jury of our peers. Fundamentally I agree. Except for the fact that the entire process is completely antiquated. And it places a burden on everyday modern life. The system is built on old, archaic platform from a time where mobile communication didn’t exist. And at times, it can feel demoralizing. Being stuck in a room, sometimes with little or no information or what to expect, and even worse, being cut off from the outside world. Having recently experienced this process, here are a few proposed enhancements to bring jury duty into the 21st century.
Enhancement 1: Scrub the juror database It makes sense for some people to be immediately eliminated from the jury pool. Are you a lawyer? A cop? Or work in the court system? Then you probably have a bias and even know the prosecutors and/or defense attorneys on the case. Therefore why would the court waste their time to ask you to serve in the first place? Believe it or not, there are plenty of people of people in these professions who are provided with a summons and asked to serve.
Enhancement 2: Online pre-screen Think of when you apply for a job. You are pre-screened with an online application. Why don’t we do this for potential jurors? It helps even further weed out people with certain “possible” inherent biases. Why does this process need to be conducted in person? Docusign is a much-respected and recognized way to legally sign a document. If you pre-screen potential jurors before they even have to take off of work and travel to the courthouse, you create efficiencies and save everyone a lot of angst and stress.
Enhancement 3: Schedule juror interviews What if jury selection panels could schedule interviews with potential jurors, based on their pre-screen (see Enhancement 2). Wouldn’t that make a better use of everyone’s time? And jurors wouldn’t have to worry about wasting an entire day sitting around being completely unproductive. Will any of this ever really come to fruition? Not sure. But it’s nice to contemplate when you’re wasting away in a jury room waiting to find out if you’ve been selected.

 

 

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