The Darker Side of Quarantine

Three weeks ago, we had a family emergency. My dad fell at home and woke up the next morning confused and in a lot of pain. Mom drove him to the hospital and, because of the pandemic, was forced to leave him there alone. Because of his Parkinson’s disease, he was kept overnight for observation. As you know, it’s not the best time to be in the hospital, and mom was understandably upset.

All I wanted to do was put on my face mask, jump in the car and drive over to see them. But, I couldn’t do it. I was still sick and the risk of infecting my parents was too great. Thankfully, he came home the next day with a broken arm.

And there it is. The dark side of life under quarantine. Yes, I miss shopping – I mean visiting – my favorite bookstores and going to the grocery store without having to suit up in a mask and gloves. But not being with my loved ones in their time of need was the absolute worst.

And here’s another thing. I have no boundary between working at home and my family life. It’s all blended together now. Quarantine has ruined working from home for me. I don’t mind the occasional day at home when I need to run a personal errand, but I miss the camaraderie of my colleagues in the morning. I want to go for a walk around the building with my friends. The courtyard in the office complex was recently renovated, and I was looking forward to sitting in the sun on my lunch break.

On the other hand, I’m not in a rush to go back to the office or other public places. For those who don’t know, I live outside of Philadelphia, and we have had more than our fair share of COVID-19 cases and deaths. Most people around here take social distancing seriously, but I am sure there are a few outliers. And I have to be okay with the fact that I don’t know who those people are. Thankfully, we have an excellent governor who knows how to lead in a crisis. However, this still doesn’t alleviate the anxiety I feel around this new normal.

When I do feel it is safe to go out with people, the first place I will make a beeline towards is a local restaurant. I don’t care if I have to bring my own silverware. I just don’t want to plan and cook every day anymore. Before the pandemic, I had a few go-to recipes, and even I’m getting tired of them. If you send me recipes, I’d love to have them, but make sure they are easy ones, please.

And finally, did you know that Shakespeare wrote King Lear while quarantined? I say – good for him. I’ve read so many articles about all the wonderful things people can do while self-isolating – start a business, write a book, and solve world hunger. The pressure to succeed is out there, and I’m feeling it in here.

Is it okay if I just get out of bed every morning and do the best that I can? Yes, I’m working on a book, and I’m trying to build up a side gig as a freelance writer all while still gainfully employed. But there are plenty of times when you will find me sitting on the couch with a bowl of ice cream watching The Crown on Netflix. And that’s okay too. And later on, if someone asks me what I did during quarantine, I’m going to happily say that I survived.

 

 

Quarantine Thoughts – Part I

I listened to a webinar yesterday about how one’s mindset can either fuel your soul or drain it. Typically, I would not sign up for something like this. In normal times, I consider myself to be an upbeat person who wakes up every morning with a plan and a purpose. But these are not normal times. And I’ve been struggling to stick to a routine and start and end my day on a positive note.

The speaker began with a question that made me laugh out loud.

“What is good about this pandemic?”

Ha! Is there anything good about a pandemic? But, sure enough, people started flooding the chat room with answers. Time with my family. Clean closets. Netflix.

Here are some silver linings that I’ve noticed lately.

First, I am much more aware of the beauty of my neighborhood and the kindness of the people who live here. I’ve been able to appreciate the beautiful landscaping outside their homes. I love watching the kids riding their bikes like I used to do when I was their age. I’ve spoken to people that I haven’t seen in a while. I found out that one woman is making face masks and not charging a penny. Another mom is posting about daily adventures with her young family complete with pictures and advice. Some days are a success and other days it’s not easy. Her honesty and sense of humor is refreshing. And everyone is looking out for the seniors and offering to pick items up for them at the store. This all reminds me that if I ever win the lottery I’d still never move.

The next thing that is good about the pandemic is that I no longer have to wear Spanx, spend money on manicures, or concern myself with the gray roots that are forming a skunk-like stripe down my center part. It’s refreshing to let my hair down and not worry about how I look. Of course, my family has to see me every day now, but they are used to me looking my best and my worst. Right now, I’m going through an in-between stage that works for me.

Finally, I’ve discovered the world of telemedicine. I never heard of this before the ‘rona, but it is so nice to have it available to me. At the beginning of the quarantine, I was actually pretty sick, but not sick enough to get a COVID-19 test. I had a nasty cough that shook my entire body and wouldn’t go away. I was exhausted and lost my sense of taste for a day or two (which really freaked me out!). I waited two weeks to call my doctor because I was social distancing and didn’t want to drive 30 minutes to his office. But apparently, there was no need. The nurse set up a Zoom-like call with my doctor. And guess what?! No wait time. None! Just excellent care and a course of antibiotics on its way.

While I’m looking forward to leaving my house again, I’m learning to slow down, sit back, and appreciate my life. This is the best silver lining of all.

Of course, there is a flip side to this blog post. And because I need to catch up on the Ultimate Blog Challenge, stay tuned for Quarantine Thoughts – Part Two: The Darker Side of the Pandemic — coming very soon.

In the meantime, how would you have answered her question? What is good about the pandemic? I’d love to hear your responses in the comments.

 

The Write Space

When Jenna left for college, I decided to use her room as my office. Knowing she would be back for winter and spring breaks and summertime, I only took over her desk.

 

Still, her room is a prime piece of real estate in our house. And it’s been a long time since I had a quiet place all to myself. Using her room also had the added benefit of giving me a reason to go in there on a regular basis. When I spent time in her room, I felt her presence in our home while she was away at school. I didn’t like how dark and clean it was all the time. So, repurposing her room into my indoor “she shed” made sense to me.

It didn’t take long to set it up. I found a new home for her bat mitzvah centerpiece from six years ago and cleared out a drawer of her miscellany. I cleaned out my overflowing bookshelves of every writing book I own and relocated them to her shelf. Underneath her camp photos and school track ribbons, I set up my laptop, brought in my favorite pens and blank journals and got to work.

Every night, I closed her bedroom door, put on my music and let the waves of creativity drown me. And when I was cursed with writer’s block, I’d lie down on her queen-size bed and read a book or take a nap. It was the perfect office space for me.

And then the pandemic hit us all. School closed for the semester, and I had to relinquish my coveted writing space back to her. Now, my current “office” is wherever I put my laptop. My choices are sitting on my own bed with a blue Yogibo pillow chair propped up for my back or sitting on a barstool at my kitchen counter. Neither one of these spaces is ideal. There is no place to put my writing books and prompt decks. I can’t leave out my favorite pens because they will most definitely disappear. And yes, I admit that I’m a bit of a snob about what pens I use for writing. I just can’t write from my heart with a cheap promo pen from Weight Watchers in my hand.

This may sound completely crazy to many of you who read this, but I know my fellow bloggers will understand.

E.B. White once said, “A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper.”

He’s probably right. Truthfully, it doesn’t matter where I write. But before the pandemic, I was etching out a solid writing routine. And now, I miss being able to go to a dedicated space where my only focus is putting words on the page. The kitchen is a high traffic area and not a great place for one to concentrate.

Once we are free from quarantine, I’m sure I’ll find a nice neighborhood coffee shop to support where I can sit and create something special. And soon enough, both my kids will leave the nest, and I’ll have my choice of writing desks.

I’m not in any rush, but having that writing space was nice for a while.

 

 

 

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