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Friday Thoughts

I’m trying something new today. One of my blogger friends does something called “Sunday Scribblings”, where she posts random thoughts, stories, links and more. I love this idea because it creates a space for whatever is floating around in her mind and needs a home.

I hope she won’t mind that I have created my own version of this awesome idea. Welcome to Friday Thoughts.

Let’s begin.

Just Do It

What do you want to be when you grow up? How many times were we asked this question when we were little? And more importantly, how were we supposed to know? When I was nine years old, I wanted to be a teacher. I would walk around the neighborhood with a clipboard going door to door to see if anyone wanted to come to my “school.” If no one enrolled, I would recruit my younger sister and assemble a class of Cabbage Patch dolls to be my students. Back then, I was trying on my dream job.

Forty years later, my answer to what I want to be when I grow up is completely different. I want to be a writer, an author, and a storyteller. I am using my linguistic skills for a higher purpose – to raise awareness and funds for good causes, to share my own story, the lessons I’ve learned along the way, and let people know they aren’t alone. Prior to the pandemic, I would complain that I never have any time to write. Now, I have nothing but time and writing is my dream job.

My point is that 2020 may suck on so many levels, but it has also given us the gift of time to do the things we’ve always wanted to do. Is there something you’ve always wanted to do in your life or career that you’d like to pursue now? Do you have a passion or a bucket list item to fulfill? Next year, what is it that you would like to say you accomplished? When you come up with an answer, set a goal, and get moving. Now is your time.

And if this has inspired you to take the next step forward, hold yourself accountable by putting your dream in the comments section below.

Damn Mosquitos

Spotted lanternflies are the evil summer dwellers everyone talks about in my neck of the woods. But, I want to talk about mosquitos. Specifically, why they seem to feed off of me and no one else in my family. There is not enough bug spray and citronella candles in the world to keep them from attacking my arms and legs every night. All I want to do is sit out on my deck with some Rita’s water ice and a good book and relax until the evening chill sets in. But, I can barely make it 30 minutes before I start scratching. And it isn’t just in my backyard. I went three doors down to another friend’s house for a social-distancing cocktail hour and had to ask for ice and a wet paper towel to wipe down my legs. Eventually, I asked for a blanket just to cover myself up.

An old boyfriend once told me applying meat tenderizer stops the itching. I’ve also tried digging an X into the middle of the bite which sometimes works. If you have read this far, my friends, please give me your best mosquito bite prevention and treatment tips in the comments. I’ll try anything!

NewsLadies

I’m sure we all have our favorite newscasters these days. While I am a big fan of Anderson Cooper, I think women make the best interviewers. I see many newsmen give in too easily when politicians circumvent the questions posed to them. But not the women anchors. They fact check people on the spot and call them out when they are caught lying to the public. From Nicole Wallace to Nora O’Donnell to Joy Behar, these women push back and push back hard. It is so fun to watch the mansplaining taking place and how women show them that they don’t have time for that shit.

There is only one woman that I can’t stand to listen to and that is Rachel Maddow. I know she is a favorite among a lot of people – my mom included. It is hard to explain, but I like to get my news from women that don’t talk down to me. Rachel Maddow is a bit of a know-it-all. I also think she is going for the sensational story instead of trying to get the answers that I want to know. Her questions also seem more philosophical and esoteric rather than practical and all-inclusive. She isn’t my cup of tea.

Who do you like to get your news from? Please don’t say Fox News. 🙁

Final Thoughts

  • I bought a month of Disney+ so I could watch Hamilton. Best $7 I’ve spent this summer. If you decide to sign up to watch Hamilton, I highly recommend turning on the captions. The story moves so fast and there are so many nuances that you won’t want to miss anything. Every time I sit down to watch it, I see something new.
  • If you are looking for some other great blogs to read, here are a few of my favorites. (I wish I could list them all!)

    Check out Sunday Scribblings, book reviews and other great stories from Lady Who Reads Writes
    Need dog training tips? – Read Doggone Healthy Choices
    Looking for the best colors to wear? Don’t miss Life In Color
    And I am really enjoying this happiness blog from Cindy Rae. She always posts something that lifts my spirits.

  • We are not going away on vacation this summer and while I’d love to get out of this house for a few days, I’m relieved. I don’t want to watch the cases in the area where I’m going. I don’t want to stress out about traveling, public bathrooms, and eating out. I want to relax on my deck with a good book and a black raspberry Mike’s Hard Lemonade – and bug spray.

 

 

 

 

Mask Etiquette 101

Yesterday, I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to pick up two hampers for my kids’ bedrooms. They have been using my laundry baskets as an unacceptable substitute, and I needed to do something about it. As I walked toward the cash register, I passed by a young woman and was taken aback. There wasn’t a hint of a mask hanging off her ear or around her neck. Her entire face was uncovered. She confidently walked past me with a look as if she was daring me to call her out on it.

It was such an odd moment. For 49 years, I’ve seen people sans mask in front of me without experiencing a sense of panic. Now, four months into this pandemic, I expect everyone to wear one in a public place.

Is that too much to ask?

And then, I wondered why no one else asked her to put a mask on. We were at the back of the store which means she must have strolled by a few employees before she reached me. Why didn’t anyone say anything? Where is the “mask” police when you need them?

Five minutes later, I remembered I was out of deodorant and made a pit stop 😉 at the beauty aisle. It was there that I saw an older woman bent over the personal fan kiosk talking on her cell phone. Her blue disposable mask served as a chin rest leaving her nose and mouth in plain sight. I wanted to tell her that people can still hear her when she talks through her mask.

But again, I said nothing. I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to get into an argument with these people. I certainly don’t want them yelling in my face spreading their droplets everywhere while pointing out that our president doesn’t wear one so why should they. I just want to politely ask them to respect others around them, not to mention abide by the signs posted everywhere on covering your face.

In these difficult times, it might be helpful to have a manual for wearing face masks and talking to the people who refuse to put them on in your presence. Here are a few do’s and don’ts, I’ve come up with.

Do wear a face mask in public places.

Don’t wear a face mask only on your nose or just your mouth. It has to cover both areas. And FYI, covering your chin doesn’t stop the spread.

Do ask your friends and family if they would prefer you to wear a mask when you come to visit. Don’t assume that they are okay with you not wearing one.

Do stay home if you aren’t feeling well.

Don’t go to Urgent Care without a mask, open the door and yell out to the receptionist – “Do you do COVID testing here?!” (This actually happened to me).

And finally, don’t wear your mask like this – as my son expertly demonstrated to me over the weekend.

Self Care

Mother’s Day weekend 2010.

I remember that it was a gorgeous weekend. The sun was shining, and it was the perfect weekend to sit outside and watch Andrew play baseball. As I walked toward the field carrying the mandatory lawn chair, suntan lotion, Gatorade and snacks, I looked down at my phone to read a text. The next thing I knew, I fell into a large ditch and twisted my left ankle. My belongings scattered except for my chair which I landed on and was now digging into the small of my back. The popping noise was deafening. The pain was real. I tried to stand up but couldn’t move – partly from the throbbing and partly from being in a slight state of shock. Other parents came to my rescue. One person recognized me and ran to get my husband who was coaching just a few yards away.

Baseball would have to wait. Mother’s Day preparations for our annual barbecue would have to wait. We drove to the hospital. I was convinced my ankle was broken, but the x-ray proved otherwise. They sent me home with crutches, a boot and a daily regimen of ice and Advil. Weeks later and still in pain, I went to a sports doctor who diagnosed it as a high ankle sprain – an injury that many athletes endure. He said I was in good company.

Lucky me.

I spent two more months in the boot and then I was cleared to go on with my active life. Ten years later, I can report that my ankle has never been the same. I can’t count how many times I have walked with friends, and my ankle turns inexplicably. I laugh it off and chalk it up to wearing the wrong shoes or tripping over nothing, but it kept on happening. And then a few weeks ago, the dog got out, and I chased after it. Long story short (too late? 😉 ), I fell again and the pain and swelling reappeared.

This time, I didn’t go to the hospital. I made an appointment at the Foot and Ankle Center. These people truly specialize in this area, and I wanted the best. After an MRI, I found out I tore my anterior talo-fibular ligament or ATFL. It was probably already torn from the original injury and never treated properly. Now, I’m going to physical therapy and may or may not need surgery.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, it makes for a good story, but it isn’t just that. This was a transformative moment or as we like to say to our kids a teachable moment. There is a lesson to be learned here.

In hindsight, I should have insisted on an MRI and a second opinion, but I was too busy. Too busy taking care of my young family, working a full-time job, and putting everyone else’s needs before my own. Self-care was never top of mind. But, as I get older, I am making it more of a priority. If I’ve learned anything from this experience, I need to carve out the time to take care of myself.

Just in case you busy moms out there have forgotten, self-care is any activity we do deliberately to take care of our physical, emotional, or mental health. It is not selfish or indulgent. And it is not a one-time thing. It doesn’t even take a lot of time, and it’s so important to our survival. What it does is recharge your battery, build your resilience, and help avoid burnout. And in my case, it could have saved me years of aggravation dealing with an injury.

Self-care is hard to do, and I’m a “walking example” of that. If you think you are too busy to go to the doctor, you aren’t. Make an appointment. If you think you don’t have time to visit with your friends and family. You do. You have to make the time. If you think you shouldn’t waste time pursuing your passions and interests, you are wrong. If you’ve always wanted to do something for yourself, but never get around to it, ask yourself why and then make a plan.

Self-care is about giving people the best of you, not what’s left of you.

What does self-care look like for you? And how will you carve out time in your schedule for it?

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