For 15 years, I’ve longed for a kitchen with a place for everything and I’ve lived in a kitchen where nothing is where it should be. Hopefully, this is the year that we finally re-do our kitchen. We have redecorated almost every other room in the house and this is the last one on the list (besides the laundry room – which is a whole different story). Over the summer, my frustration with the kitchen reached its highest level when I simply wanted to enjoy my favorite seasonal dish – corn on the cob. It took me 10 minutes to husk the corn, another 15 minutes to grill and 45 minutes to find four pairs of plastic corn holders. The search was on. I found the navy blue pair first followed by the red in the drawer where they live. I went one drawer down for the other pairs which proved futile. But, I wasn’t giving up so easily. I found the 3rd pair – the white ones – in the junk drawer on the other side of the kitchen where my binder clips and push pins are stored. Did someone mistake them for office supplies? To this day, I’m still looking for the fourth pair of holders.
What If…
A few short weeks ago, I let my teenager go with her friends to a 2 day outdoor concert event in Philadelphia called the Made in America Festival. Admittedly, I was nervous about her taking the train, navigating her way through the big city and attending an event with 50,000 other concert-goers. Still, as a parent, we are told to give our kids roots and wings and this seemed to be as good an opportunity as any to show her that we trust her and for her to show us that she could be trusted. And it was. She demonstrated her street smarts and independence by figuring out the train schedules and getting herself to and from the event without getting lost. She showed common sense and kept her word when she stayed with her friends at all times whether they went to the bathroom, got snacks or watched the different bands on various stages throughout the large venue. The only piece of parental advice I gave her that day was to stay alert. Stay alert to her surroundings among strangers. She knew what I meant. And then I watched her walk out the door and I refused to fall asleep until she walked back in later that night. This morning, I woke up to news of the shooting at a similar venue in Las Vegas and I couldn’t help but think – what if? What if that happened in our city? It isn’t unreasonable to think so. What if she was caught in the middle of that kind of chaos? What if I never was able to go to bed that night? All day long, I’ve thought about whether or not I would still send her to that concert today. And I know the answer is yes. Because I don’t want her to be afraid of going to a concert, a nightclub or a ball game or get on a plane or travel abroad. I want her to live her life to the fullest. I want her to enjoy the music of her youth and make tons of memories with her friends. And above all, I don’t want them to win. As I take a stand with others today against gun violence, I gave her a hug this morning, told her I love her – as I do every day – and this time snuck in an extra squeeze for the parents across the country whom I don’t even know whose children will never come home.
Traveling with Anxiety
This past summer, my family celebrated my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary by spending a beautiful week together in Costa Rica. I got to experience a country I had never been to before and an amazing culture while having a memorable time with our extended family. I love to travel to new places and experience new things, but prior to the trip–and frankly prior to any vacation or business trip I go on–my anxiety tends to kick in. I can’t help it. I tend to pack my fears right next to my bathing suits. My mind was full of questions. Would I be able to drink the water? Am I going to get sick from the food? What exactly does “all-inclusive” mean in Central America? Will they even have WiFi? To deal with my anxiety and uncertainty, I took it upon myself to do some research ahead of time to calm my fears. Thanks to Google, I found a top 10 list of facts about Costa Rica. Fact #1 – They have a female president. Me – NICE! I’m with her! Fact#2 – Costa Rica is one of the happiest countries in the world. Me – Hakuna Matata. Don’t worry be happy. Or as they say in CR – Pura Vida. (I start to relax.) Fact#3 – Gourmet coffee is the main export. Me – Did someone say gourmet coffee? SOLD! When do we leave?? I should have stopped reading right then and there. Really, I should have stopped, but alas I kept on scrolling. Fact #4 – Costa Rica is home to 20,000 different kinds of spiders. Me: What?! NOPE! Not happening. Spiders?! 20,000 different kinds? Are you freaking kidding me? What was I thinking? (SEE ANXIETY GO INTO MAJOR OVERDRIVE) After breathing into a paper bag for what seemed like hours, I put the rest of the article away and pretended I never saw Fact #4. A few days later, I found another article ticking off the highlights of the amazing rain forest, the beauty of the lush countryside, the friendliness of the people and, of course, the gourmet coffee. Two weeks later, I’m proud to say that I walked into my hotel room and–guess what–they had WiFi! And a beautiful view of the Pacific ocean. There was even a stocked minibar complete with 3 different kinds of rum in the event of any surprise spider sightings. And most importantly, my beautiful family around me excited to be there. I began to relax again.