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The Process of Letting Go

This past August, we moved our daughter into her dorm room and set her up for her freshman year at college. I remember thinking that her entire senior year was a complete blur to me. Every weekend was filled with Class of ’19 activities. She attended the last homecoming game, the last Coronation Ball, and the last winter concert. Not to mention senior prom, a trip to Disney World, senior cut day, college visits, and so on and so on.

She had a car last year, so between her boyfriend, a part-time job, and her dance group, she was almost never home. And that’s what is supposed to happen! It is a process that all parents must go through. If we do our jobs right, our children will live independently and happily going forward.

The seismic shift of her absence during her first semester was not lost on me. I turned her homework desk into my writing nook so that a) I’d have a quiet space with a door to close and b) I had an excuse to spend time in her room.

Of course, it is wonderful to have so much free time now to focus on our son. When you have two teenagers at home and one is about to go off to college, the other one can sometimes feel left out. But, we are making up for lost time now. At 16, I’m sure we cramp his style at times since he is now the only child living at home. I promise not to embarrass him in front of his friends, although I don’t always know I’m doing it. 🙂

Over Thanksgiving, she came back to visit for a week. She hadn’t been home since we dropped her off, and we were a family of four again. I was so happy that I even posted a screenshot of the Find Your Friends app showing all of us in the same place at the same time–home.

And then, she went back for finals and finished out her first semester. Her winter break is longer than other schools, and right now it is like she never left. She helps around the house and takes her brother to wherever he needs to go. I hear the two of them laughing, screeching, and fighting upstairs over the shared bathroom or random annoyances. I don’t even bother to go up there and referee. I like the noise. It’s just like old times.

In the back of my mind, I know she is going to leave us soon. And while there was a set process for sending her off to college, there is none for sending her back again. In some ways, this is going to be harder for me, but, I will adjust.

Meanwhile, the other night, my husband started discussing college plans with our son. I told them both to stop talking. I’m not ready to start that process.

There’s Always Next Weekend

“A year from now, you will wish you had started today.”

– Author and journalist, Karen Lamb

I don’t know who Karen Lamb is, but she is absolutely right. A year from now, I will have wished I started on my book and gone to the gym. If I started this time last year, I would be well on my way to a first draft and a bikini body by now. But alas, that didn’t happen.

Seriously, what the hell am I waiting for?! I had plenty of time this weekend to take an exercise class or do a little research. Not that I was sitting around doing nothing.

Hey, here’s something. I cleaned out my kitchen pantry today. I felt productive, and the pantry looks so neat and organized. But I know it’s an exercise in futility because I can almost guarantee the cereal boxes will be wide open again next weekend with stale Cheerios inside.

And, did a few loads of laundry, so we all have underwear this week.

Cool.

(Cue the eye roll)

You guys, weekends are supposed to be relaxing and maybe even fulfilling. I did chores on the weekend when I was a teenager. Why am I still doing them now? I have teenagers of my own for G-d sake. It’s their turn!

Ok, time to get motivated. So, I’ll end with this quote from another author–who I also never heard of before ?

Life takes on meaning when you become motivated, set goals, and charge after them in an unstoppable manner.
     – Les Brown

 

Reading While Driving

Does this blog title scare you a little? 🙂

Don’t worry. I promise I have both hands on the wheel at all times. This is how it’s done.

I am someone who gets bored quickly on car rides—even when I’m driving. While some people love to drive, I’d much rather be in the passenger seat reading my book. And lucky for me, I rarely get carsick.

With a 45-minute commute to work every day, it kills me that there is nothing else I can do except drive. Yes, I have XM Radio, and I love to listen to cable news, the Blend, and the Billy Joel channel, but I wouldn’t exactly call that productive, which is why I’m so happy to have discovered Audible.

Yes, I know I’m late to the game here. Audible has been around for a few years. Now that I know about it, it has changed my commute for the better. And I admit that I used to think listening to a book doesn’t count as reading it. For those who listen to books on tape, Audible, or another listening app, please don’t hate me. I already hate myself for thinking that, but I can be pretty “old school” at times.

I still love holding a book in my hand and the physical act of turning the pages. I miss turning the book on its side to see how many pages I have left to go.  But, I can’t do any of these things while driving a car. And when you spend eight or nine hours listening to a book being read to you, it most definitely counts as reading.

My introduction to Audible started with a lecture I went to about launching myself into a new job. The speaker was recommending books and said that “The 5 Second Rule” by Mel Robbins was a must-read.

I was about to download the book on my Kindle as I usually do, but then someone else in the room suggested it is much better to listen to it. She said it was like listening to the best 300-page TED talk. So, I downloaded Audible and listened to it every day on my way to work.

First of all, the book is fantastic, and except for the chapter about using her method to overcome depression and anxiety, I highly recommend it to all of you. Second, listening to Mel Robbins narrate the book is quite an experience. She is that special combination of your BFF who happens to be a therapist, best-selling author and motivational speaker—all for the low price of $14.99. I finished the book in 10 business days.

The next book I chose to listen to was Brene Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection.” This is another one of those self-help, “you can do it” books. I was already familiar with how great her TED talks are., so I thought this would be just as good. But, within 15 minutes, I exchanged it. Unfortunately, this book was not narrated by Ms. Brown. It was read by someone else who had a monotone voice that I could have easily fallen asleep at the wheel. There was no way I was going to be inspired by her, and I didn’t want to risk an accident on the highway by dozing off.

Audible allows you to exchange a book for whatever reason. It is easy, and within 5 minutes, I had a new one ready to play. This time, I chose a new fiction novel called “Such a Fun Age” by Kiley Reid. I’d heard a lot about it, but I didn’t want to buy the hardback. And since I had two other books I was working through – one on my Kindle and one I can turn the pages, one more book to listen sounded worthwhile.

OMG, you guys. The narrator is for this book is amazing! There are so many characters that she must perform. I’m guessing she is some kind of actress. I literally cannot put this book down! Or do I say, turn this book off? I listen to it on my commute, on the way to the dog park, and in the kitchen while making dinner. It’s that good, and now I know that who the narrator is matters immensely.

What books do you listen to? Does it seem like you are reading the book, or does it feel like cheating?

 

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