Do you remember this scene from Pretty Woman? Richard and Vivian are lying in bed together, having some serious pillow talk.

“When people put you down enough, you start to believe it,” Vivian whispers.

“I think you are a very bright, very special woman,” Edward assures her.

Vivian looks into his eyes and answers, “The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?”

This is so true, and there is science to back this up. According to an article at livingincognito.com, we are all pre-programmed to think this way. The author writes, “We are predisposed to pay attention to the negative stuff because when we were cave-dwelling, our ancestors had to be on high alert for danger—a.k.a. the bad stuff.” And now, even though we don’t have those dangers to face, our brain never rewired itself. We pay attention to the negative because our brains are overprotective and want to protect us from harm. We form a permanent memory of this feeling and therefore find it difficult to move forward.

This Ultimate Blog Challenge (UBC) has started to rewire my brain. I’ve already broken up with my 12th-grade journalism teacher, who told me I’d never be good enough. I’m putting out of my mind the rejections I’ve received from a few contests. When I asked one contest leader if I could get a critique of my piece, she had nothing but constructive feedback and words of encouragement. Even when I feel like I wrote a shitty first draft in the writer’s workshop I attend, people find something that resonates with them.

Hey guys – I just wrote a blog post a day for 30 straight days! For me, this is a big accomplishment. This experience has given me a much more positive attitude toward my writing career. Even on the days when I thought I had nothing more to write about, I realize my brain just needed to rest and recharge. I skipped two days but caught up and jumped right back on the horse.

Yes, the bad stuff is easier to believe, but I’m choosing to embrace the positive signs flashing brightly in front of me. And when someone has something negative and unhelpful to say, I’ll listen and then reply –

“BIG MISTAKE. HUGE! I HAVE TO GO AND WRITE NOW.”

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Yesterday, I went on ezinearticles.com and clicked on the category “Women’s Interests” to see if I could find a quality article to share with you. What I found was nothing worth sharing, but in fact, aggravating.

As a woman, I would imagine the topics under this category would be anything from careers to family, sports to fashion, and fitness to food. I thought I’d see a laundry list of fascinating and timely subject areas to explore.

Instead, I found this:

• Menopause/HRT
• Beauty Products
• Plus Size
• Cosmetic Surgery
• Self Defense

That’s it?!  Except for the first topic—which I think is a valid one–what the fuck?!

Excuse my French, but seriously, this kind of thing drives me crazy. How about a section on health and wellness? Where are the articles about women entrepreneurs and athletes? I wouldn’t have even minded something more traditional, like parenting. But seriously, who came up with this list?

In the 21^st century, the woefully outdated category of “women’s interests” should be put to rest. Who gets to say what my interests are on any given day? Certainly not this website.

If you think I’ve gone off the deep end, visit a magazine rack at Barnes & Noble. Notice the separate sections for men’s and women’s interests. I ask you to consider why they do this. Are women not interested in video games and DIY projects? Must we segregate the so-called interests of the different sexes?

There is a missed opportunity here to discuss and educate the next generation about women’s issues such as equal pay, the right to choose, and the lack of female representation in the corporate boardroom and in political leadership. This article in Politico addresses more women’s issues to conquer besides cosmetic surgery.

With 40 percent of U.S. businesses owned by women and presidential candidates talking about winning the “women’s vote,” let’s start treating women as human beings with their own experiences, interests and opinions.

Thank you. 🙂

End rant

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“So mom, was 18 hours of labor worth it?” my daughter asks me this morning – which happens to be her birthday.

“Nah!” I said with a smirk.

But of course, that’s not true.

After the initial shock of delivering her two weeks early wore off, I leaned back in my hospital bed, held Jenna in my arms, and fully embraced my role as a new mom. Nineteen years ago today was the start of my parenting career, so I guess you could say it’s my “BIRTH DAY” too.

On this day, I brought into this world a child and a whole new version of myself. And just two short years and ten months later (and three days past his due date!), we welcomed our son into the family. Being a parent is hard, but I know I’m my most authentic self when I’m with my kids.

So, what kind of mom am I?

I’ve always been more of a mama bear than a helicopter parent. I chose to be a breastfeeding, stay-at-home mom, but then I craved adult conversation and became a working mom. Maintaining a healthy work/life balance has always been a challenge, but one that I think I’ve managed well. They say women can do it all, but not all at once.

I’m definitely not the perfect mom, but Lord knows I do my best. Sometimes, I’ve been called a Type A mom because I like to rally the troops and organize our book club meetings. But most of the time, I’m more Type B — also known as the hot mess mom. On those days, as long as everyone is alive and safe, I’ve done my job.

I’m a swim mom and, until recently, a dance mom. I was briefly a stage mom when Andrew was cast as Mowgli in the fifth-grade production of The Jungle Book. He was a natural, and I sold tickets to everyone I knew for his acting debut. But being a stage mom was short-lived. In sixth grade, he was the two of hearts in Alice and Wonderland, and so the dream ended.

When they were little, I enjoyed my time as room mom but never a cookie mom. I see myself as more of a cookie mom supporter.

I’m not above ordering take out more than once a week, so I think you can safely cross out crunchy granola mom.

I don’t think I’ve been a strict mom. I’d say I’m more of a “don’t give me your shit” mom. And I’ve been told at times that I’m a cool mom.

Now, I’m the mom of a college student and a high school sophomore. I’m thankful they call me with their good news, crazy stories, and as the kids say, “the tea.” I’m glad they know they can also call me with their problems, worries, and dramas to help sort out. Sometimes they just want to hang out–which I love the most.

I’m the mom that will always be there for them. I’m the mom without a manual, but with a whole lot of love.

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