“So mom, was 18 hours of labor worth it?” my daughter asks me this morning – which happens to be her birthday.

“Nah!” I said with a smirk.

But of course, that’s not true.

After the initial shock of delivering her two weeks early wore off, I leaned back in my hospital bed, held Jenna in my arms, and fully embraced my role as a new mom. Nineteen years ago today was the start of my parenting career, so I guess you could say it’s my “BIRTH DAY” too.

On this day, I brought into this world a child and a whole new version of myself. And just two short years and ten months later (and three days past his due date!), we welcomed our son into the family. Being a parent is hard, but I know I’m my most authentic self when I’m with my kids.

So, what kind of mom am I?

I’ve always been more of a mama bear than a helicopter parent. I chose to be a breastfeeding, stay-at-home mom, but then I craved adult conversation and became a working mom. Maintaining a healthy work/life balance has always been a challenge, but one that I think I’ve managed well. They say women can do it all, but not all at once.

I’m definitely not the perfect mom, but Lord knows I do my best. Sometimes, I’ve been called a Type A mom because I like to rally the troops and organize our book club meetings. But most of the time, I’m more Type B — also known as the hot mess mom. On those days, as long as everyone is alive and safe, I’ve done my job.

I’m a swim mom and, until recently, a dance mom. I was briefly a stage mom when Andrew was cast as Mowgli in the fifth-grade production of The Jungle Book. He was a natural, and I sold tickets to everyone I knew for his acting debut. But being a stage mom was short-lived. In sixth grade, he was the two of hearts in Alice and Wonderland, and so the dream ended.

When they were little, I enjoyed my time as room mom but never a cookie mom. I see myself as more of a cookie mom supporter.

I’m not above ordering take out more than once a week, so I think you can safely cross out crunchy granola mom.

I don’t think I’ve been a strict mom. I’d say I’m more of a “don’t give me your shit” mom. And I’ve been told at times that I’m a cool mom.

Now, I’m the mom of a college student and a high school sophomore. I’m thankful they call me with their good news, crazy stories, and as the kids say, “the tea.” I’m glad they know they can also call me with their problems, worries, and dramas to help sort out. Sometimes they just want to hang out–which I love the most.

I’m the mom that will always be there for them. I’m the mom without a manual, but with a whole lot of love.

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Well, we are on day 27 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge, and I thought it would be a good time for you to get to know me better. It’s also an easy way to do a “catch-up post.

This month, O Magazine asks 20 questions in the O Quiz. I thought these questions were interesting and not your typical favorite things questions. So here goes nothing.

What’s your guilty pleasure? Hot fudge sundaes

If you could send yourself a note in 2030, what would it say? Congratulations on becoming an author. I’m so proud of you. You set out to do something you wanted to do your entire life, and you did it. I hope you take this moment to shine in the spotlight because you deserve it.

What’s one thing in your life you are so happy you did? I went to Israel while I was in college for five weeks. I spent that time pushing myself to do things I never did before – like kayaking and hiking, riding a camel and laying out on the beach in Eilat. Celebrating Shabbat in Jerusalem is something I will never forget. I don’t know if I’ll ever have the opportunity to go back there, but I’m so glad I went at least once.

Who’s one person that changed your life? My career coach who taught me to discover and honor my values and never settle. I learned so much about myself. I gained confidence and learned how to present my best self on paper and in an interview. Best money I’ve ever spent in my life.

What makes you cry? When I put 100% into something that means everything me, and it goes unappreciated. I don’t ask for recognition, just respect.

What gives you hope? Watching my children and their friends do something to give back to others. Whether it is feeding the homeless in a soup kitchen or spending time with kids with special needs, they enjoy volunteering their time to make the world a better place.

What do you love unapologetically? I love getting sucked into an amazing book and nothing can make me put it down – even if I have to stay up all night to finish it.

What keeps you up at night? I wake up and wonder what Jenna is doing at college at that moment and hoping that whatever it is–she is being smart and safe.
I tend to look at the Find Your Friends app to see if she is back at her dorm.

What’s your secret talent?  I can touch my tongue to my nose.

What’s one thing you were wrong about? Just one thing? I used to think people would change their ways, but now I know everyone is wired differently and I can only change how I react to them. Learning this lesson has made my life a lot easier.

What movie could you watch on an endless loop? Right now, Jersey Boys. I just love that doo-wop music.

What’s your worst habit? Not drinking water. It is one of the easiest and healthiest things I can do, and I rarely drink it. Unless coffee counts. Does it count??

Cats or dogs? DOGS! I’m highly allergic to cats.

When is the last time you felt awe? A few years ago, we went to the Grand Canyon and I got to stand at the rim and appreciate its beauty. I felt the same way when we visited Niagra Falls. There is something about the natural wonders of the world that take my breath away. Next on my list – I’d love to see the Northern Lights.

If you could choose a magical power, what would it be? To be in two places at once.

What is your most prized possession? An autograph t-shirt from former Phillies pitcher, Jaime Moyer.

What places or adventures are still on your bucket list? Italy

What ignites your sense of injustice? Racism, antisemitism, sexism, and so many other things.

What’s the greatest gift we can give ourselves? Self-Confidence

What’s the greatest gift we can give one another? Kindness

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I double booked myself last week. I hate when that happens.

I signed up for Ladies Bingo Night, which is a fundraiser for our high school seniors. I also agreed to attend a social justice meeting at the synagogue. Fortunately, both were happening in the same building. Unfortunately, the timing was so close together that I wasn’t able to stay for the majority of the agenda.

On my way upstairs to play bingo, I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. Why did I bother going to that meeting in the first place? What must they think of me? Should I quit the committee altogether since my first impression was not a stellar one?

And then, I took a deep breath and stopped my thoughts from snowballing further. I’m passionate about the issues of the day, and I want the social justice committee to be my outlet for getting involved. They address topics such as antisemitism, gun control, voting rights, climate change and so much more. These are my people, and I’ve been searching for an opportunity to stand up and do more for the greater good.

But, our group of my friends can rarely get together anymore. All of our lives are crazy busy. We work. We run our kids around. We prepare dinner, do the laundry and make sure everything at home is running like clockwork. We deserve a break, and I was looking forward to spending time with them. So, I chose to stop feeling guilty.

Confidence isn’t knowing other people like you. It’s knowing you’ll be fine if they don’t.

For most of my life, I worried endlessly about what people thought of me. This lack of confidence in my decisions carried over from work relationships to personal and familial ones. I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve been to therapy to address this, and now consider myself a “reformed people pleaser.” As I get older, I realize that being kind to others doesn’t mean that you need to bend over backward and contort yourself into what they want from you. I must stay true to myself.

When I saw the above quote today, it reminded me to be authentic every day. Not some of the time. ALL OF THE TIME.

And yes, I will go back for another social justice meeting. I’ve already put important dates on my calendar so I can support their ongoing programs. I have lots to contribute, and if I don’t show up, who would lose out? Not them, but me. BINGO!

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