This week, I will mark 15 years since I became a mom and I’m still figuring things out as I go along. This parenting thing is a wonderful gig but it is not always easy. When the kids were younger, I used to hate when people said to me “little kids, little problems” as I walked around in a constant state of exhaustion. I have such a visceral reaction to this phrase now that I refuse to say it to new mothers. No matter what stage of parenting you are in, we are all in the same boat. Some days are smooth sailing and others are filled with rocky waters. To the moms who have younger children, I’ve been where you are even though I may not be rowing along right next to you. Right now, I’m at the helm of the teen/tween cruise line where life preservers are required. Someday, I’ll be an empty-nester watching my children from the shoreline as they surf the waves of adulthood and try to stay away from high tides. I remember some of the times I think I would never want to go back to like Jenna biting other kids in her preschool and Andrew crying so hard when he was upset until he would throw up on everything (or everyone) closest to him. I couldn’t wait for them to grow out of these phases and onto the next one. And yet, I miss taking them music class and reading stories before bedtime.  

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Disclaimer: I am no expert at attaining work/life balance, but I work really hard at it. For me, it is all about time management. If I can find increments of 30 minutes to save throughout my day, I feel like a winner. Here are some examples of ways I find precious time in my day.

1. I raise (somewhat) self-sufficient kids – Give your kids more responsibilities around the house as they get older. About a year ago, I declared my lunch-making days were over and told the kids to make their own. At first, it was a disaster. Someone ultimately forgot a juice box or a sandwich. But then, they learned to pack PB&J, a piece of fruit, a cookie and a drink. This saved me time at night to take care of other chores the kids weren’t ready for yet. Now that my kids are older, I’m teaching them how to do their own laundry. When they can do this without turning the entire load pink or leaving the random Sharpies in their pockets, my work/life balance will be that much more attainable.
2. The 3 D’s – Delegate, Defer, & Do – I’ll tackle the first one here. Delegate things to your spouse or partner or others. Last week, I received an e-mail about the 6th grade chorus singing at the Philadelphia Soul game. It included a 5 page document on how to order tickets, medical/emergency forms and permission slips for the event and the bus. 5 PAGES! My husband happened to be home with the kids over winter break so I asked him to check with our son to see if he wanted to go. Then, I took it a step further and asked him to fill out the forms and order the tickets. Guess what- he did it. Another 30 minutes saved.
3. Two words – Google Calendar – Besides the typical doctor appointments and kid schedules, I have some weird things on my calendar. Send can of tomato sauce to school with Andrew. Buy gift for Jenna’s friend. Pick up book on hold at library. Some people use Evernote or Siri to set reminders. I put everything in my Google calendar. It has automatic reminders and everyone in the family has access to it and can add things when they remember to do so. I refer to my calendar all day long, Like an adult security blanket, I’d be completely lost without it.
4. Defer – Just like you, I receive so many e-mails and they all scream some level of importance. I have become quite agile at determining the actual DEFCON level of the e-mail and whether or not to defer it or better yet delete altogether. The time it takes me to deal with each one as it comes in saves me 30 minutes in the long run of going back and looking at them all over again.
5. Do – Just Do It is a slogan I live by on a regular basis. Instead of putting folded clothes in a laundry basket that will ultimately sit in the hallway for days on end, I’ll try and skip the basket entirely and just put the clothes away. Before I go to the drugstore or the supermarket for a specific item, I look around to see what other things need to be purchased so I don’t have to go back out again.
6. Friends Don’t Let Friends Watch Friends – I know Rachel gets off the plane. I know Phoebe has her brother’s babies. I know Richard tries to steal Monica back but she ends up with Chandler. I know Joey still loves sandwiches. I know all of this. So, why do I continue watching back to back episodes of Friends every night of the week?! Talk about a time-suck! I am taking back those 30 minutes (or 60 or 90) and doing something much more productive with my life – like going to the gym, reading a book or watching a new show on Netflix that I’ve never seen before. The point is find your time-sucks and then banish them. You will be surprised what you can accomplish!Okay, your turn. What is the one thing that helps you attain work/life balance?

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It is that time of year when my fellow bloggers come up with the one word that will guide them through the next 365 days. Last year, my word was coffee. (You can read the reasons why I chose this word here). I’m happy to report that I drank many cups of coffee with old friends, new acquaintances and family throughout 2015. Over those warm beverages, I was fortunate enough to have some amazing conversations with many of you. I felt a sense of connection to the wonderful people in my life and have deepened our relationships in meaningful ways. All of this has been a blessing to me and I am grateful for it. However, I’m doing a complete 180 in 2016. The word I have chosen this time may seem a little anti-social and self-serving and let’s face it – it is. But, if I want to see some of my own dreams come to fruition this year –and let’s face it, I’m not getting any younger—I have to own this word. I have to live this word. I have to embrace this word. My word is “me-time”–and yes, if I hyphenate it, it counts as one word. Here is a little backstory. I recently took a Myers-Briggs personality test and the results were simultaneously eye-opening and not at all surprising. As an ENFJ, I take great pride in serving as a leader in the community. I found it quite humorous that ENFJ’s are most likely to work for religious-oriented institutions. It actually said so in the report! I guess I can check that off my list. ENFJ’s are passionate people who like spending time with other people working in harmony and in pursuit of cooperation for the greater good. We focus on helping others achieve their potential and get great satisfaction watching them grow and succeed. My fellow ENFJ’s are Oprah Winfrey, Martin Luther King, Jr., and President Barack Obama. I am humbled to be in any category with this caliber of people. But sometimes, ENFJ’s find it incredibly hard to take time for themselves. In the entire 12 page report that I’ve read and re-read to myself, one sentence rings so true to me – “As giving and caring as the ENFJ is, they need to remember to value their own needs as well as the needs of others.” Can I get an AMEN?! Yes, I do need to value my own needs and dreams which is why “me-time” is such a fitting word for me in 2016. I will carve out the “me-time” even if the guilt that will surely arise kills me. I want time to write in my blog and become an even better writer. I need time to go to the gym, make healthier choices and have the energy to give to others as well as to myself. I wish to take the time to learn new things and hopefully make a few changes in my life that I have been putting off for way too long. So, in this new year, I may say no to coffee every once in a while or I might let go of some things that no longer suit me. Please don’t be mad. It’s not you. It’s me. I just need some quality “me-time” to figure it all out. Happy New Year!

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