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Photographs and Memories

Hi. I’m back. It’s been a busy time for our family this past week. Believe it or not, there are still senior year events taking place in the middle of summer. I’m guilty of feeding the beast. We had a graduation party for Andrew this past weekend. There are also swim meets and banquets. and other people’s graduation parties. It’s been a fun ride, and now it’s time to celebrate. Hence, the hiatus from my blog writing.

This year’s popular trend for graduation parties is a banner where you can display school photos from grades K-12. How hard can this be, right? I have thousands of photos of him from the last 18 years – 6,581 days – to be exact.

Unfortunately, I am not the most organized person when it comes to photos. I have boxes of them and in no particular order. After sifting through piles of pictures, I was still missing Kindergarten, 7th grade, 8th grade, and 11th grade. How can I possibly be missing 11th grade??? It was just last year! I had to improvise. Luckily, I post photos on Facebook pretty regularly, so I looked through my uploads until I filled all of the gaps.

Well, almost. I still couldn’t find a photo from 7th grade that I liked. And then it dawned on me. Use one of his bar mitzvah photos! I have a ton of them. I pulled out the box of prints and found the one being lifted in the chair during Hava Nagila (thanks, Chorus Photography!). Done!

I experienced an unexpected side effect while digging into the past. The walk down memory lane is both wonderful and exhausting. It’s been a long road, and many of our steps have turned into Kodak moments. Each photo tells a story. As I flipped, searched, and scrolled, the stories were on automatic replay in my mind.

The day he was born.

The time he celebrated his birthday in preschool.

The final curtain call as the lead in the 5th-grade play. (He was Mowgli in The Jungle Book).

That bar mitzvah photo.

His record-breaking time for breaststroke at the swim club.

Photographs and memories. Summer skies and lullabies. 

Pass the Kleenex. I’m really going to miss seeing that mega-watt smile every morning.

Thank G-d for FaceTime.

A Rookie Mistake

You guys – I can’t believe I did this. I’m so embarrassed. How can I describe myself as an avid and voracious reader and then pull a stunt like this?! Seriously, what was I thinking? I left my house without a book, a Kindle, or my earbuds to listen to something on Audible. And there I was at my son’s swim meet during a rain delay with nothing to read.

I know. I know. I’m just as shocked as you are. It was just last night that I picked up Katy Tur’s brand new memoir, Rough Draft. I waited in line for almost an hour for her to sign it. When I got home, I placed the book on my nightstand so that I would read it before bedtime. That’s where I went wrong. I took the book out of the car and brought it into the house, leaving me with no reading material whatsoever.

This is such a rookie mistake for me. I ALWAYS bring something to read. I’m never without an emergency page-turner in my drawstring bag. And in a real pinch, I can usually rely on an old magazine in the back seat of my car that I can dust off and catch up on the latest gossip. I dug around the seat cushions, underneath the seats, and even checked the trunk to no avail.

I was lost. I had free time and nothing to read. My heart was in my stomach, and a cold chill ran down my back.* I’m not used to feeling this empty inside. I quickly turned to my iPhone and opened the New York Times app for today’s news. This was the perfect time to catch up on some articles until the meet resumed. But then I realized I had another problem – I forgot my reading glasses at home too.

UGH! Now, what was I going to do? Talk to my husband? I supposed we could have engaged in a little light conversation. Sadly, he was entertaining himself with endless Facebook Reels. When he showed me a clip of a dog licking a sign advertising ice cream cones, I knew we weren’t on the same page. (Thank you – I’ll be here all night!)

I’m happy to say that I survived. I took out my contacts to read the small print on my phone screen. I eeked out two articles before I decided to close my eyes and listen to the radio. I’ve learned my lesson, although I thought I had already learned it during the long car ride to Grandmom’s house in the summer of ’87. That was a rough night. I don’t like to talk about it much.

Now, if you will excuse me, I must prepare my drawstring bag with two (maybe three) books, a few magazines, and my reading glasses. Next time, I won’t leave home without it.

*Okay, some descriptions in this blog post were embellished for dramatic effect. 🙂 

bookshelf

Look at all of the books I could have been reading!

Finding the Fun Again

I have a new goal: not to fall asleep on the couch by 8 pm on weekends. You see, we are about to become empty nesters as our youngest starts Drexel University in the fall. Our idea of fun has centered around our children for the last 21 years. We’ve been to the fireworks, the zoo, the museums, the beach, the theater, and the aquarium. We’ve taken them swimming, boating, hiking, rock-climbing, sledding, ice skating, go-karting, sightseeing, and more. We’ve taken them everywhere, from the Jersey Shore to the Magic Kingdom to the Grand Canyon. We even went on a Caribbean cruise (pre-pandemic, of course).

It has been fun — so much fun. Some of the most fun I’ve had has been with our kids. They are fun people, but they are seeking out their version of fun without us, as it should be. And now, my husband and I will be on our own again. And I do not want to spend the next 15 years watching tv and falling asleep on the sofa.

So, I’m on the hunt for some fun.

Recently, two couples asked us for dinner and said they wanted to hang out with us more. We have been friends for years but rarely socialize outside our children’s extra-curricular activities or school functions. Now that our kids don’t need us to chaperone or drive them anywhere, we are all looking to expand our friendship circles and try new things. I love this idea. Hanging out with friends is definitely my idea of a good time.

This past weekend was a flurry of activity. Friday night, we saw Top Gun: Maverick at the movie theater. The next day, we took the dog on a car ride to visit my parents. We couldn’t bring grandchildren with us because neither of them was home. I didn’t know we were allowed to come over without at least one grandchild in tow. We watched the Phillies game and brought in Italian food for dinner. On Sunday, we ran errands and did some housework and food shopping before heading out with friends to Longwood Gardens for the evening. And on Monday, we invited my inlaws over for dinner and conversation, which closed out the weekend nicely.

I want more weekends like this. The trick is to plan ahead and put things on the calendar. But also leave room for spontaneity. The possibilities are endless. I want to try new restaurants and listen to live music. Longtime followers of my blog know that exploring and supporting indie bookstores is my idea of a good time. I want to be with people — more so now that I’m working from home and don’t get out much during the week.

I also hope to dedicate some time to my hobbies. I am a writer by trade and hope to be an author someday. I am working on a memoir and looking forward to attending a writer’s conference next month. It will be so nice to learn from and be inspired by other writers who love to read and share their stories.

My husband and I also love to travel. Before the pandemic, we had hoped to go to Italy to celebrate our 50th birthdays. Instead, we are staying on this side of the pond for another year before we travel overseas. When our son recently learned of these plans, he told us he would LOVE to go to Italy. I had to break it to him gently.

I said, “That’s nice, sweetie. I’m sure you’ll get there someday. How about you go to college instead? This is our time.”

This is a new stage of our lives and of course, there is no manual. What have other empty nesters done to find the fun again? Tell me in the comments.

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