December 2023 - Life Without A Manual

Happy Hanukkah!

In many Jewish circles, Hanukkah is considered “a minor holiday.” This is because its observance is not required in the Torah, like Rosh Hashanah and Passover. And yet, so many of my Jewish memories come from celebrating Hanukkah with family. So, I don’t think I can ever discount it.

More importantly, this is a time of year when diversity and inclusion should shine like the candles on a Hanukkah menorah or a Kwanzaa kinara. With the rise of blatant antisemitism and racism in this country and around the world, it seems even more critical this year to celebrate all of these festivals.

Here are a few of my favorite family Hanukkah stories to share with you. I hope you will share your holiday memories (Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or others) in the comments.

Hanukkah Then

As far as gifts go, my parents were quite creative. One year, we were told to open the hall closet, where we found two brand new high school jackets hanging there with our names and graduation years embroidered on them. Another time, we were given fuzzy socks, but stuffed inside were tickets to a show. I think it was Annie, but I can’t remember for sure.

The best present was when my sister and I unwrapped small phone books and told us to turn to K for our last name. There, we found our own phone number! We were getting our own phone line! For those of you who weren’t born before cell phones, the value of this gift is the equivalent of unwrapping your first iPhone.

Besides gift giving, we lit the menorah, ate potato latkes with sour cream or applesauce (or both!) and jelly doughnuts, and played dreidel for chocolate coins and M&Ms. We shopped at the annual Hanukkah Bazaar. We learned the three blessings and the Hebrew and English versions of Maoz Tzur (Rock of Ages) in Sunday school. We heard the story of the Maccabees fighting for religious freedom every year. However, we could never agree on the correct spelling of Hanukkah. It’s a good thing spelling didn’t count in Hebrew school.

Then & Now

By the time my kids were born, Hanukkah had moved way past the Dreidel song at holiday concerts. Jewish songwriters everywhere must have had a meeting and decided we needed more. I’m sure lots of latkes, doughnuts, and gelt were served to foster divine inspiration. And although we don’t have as many songs like Christmas carols, this year, Jewish acapella groups have put out not one but TWO Taylor Swift Hanukkah song mashups — here and here. Pretty cool!

One year, I decided to make homemade latkes for Andrew’s preschool class. Unfortunately, I didn’t know not to put all the potato peelings down the garbage disposal. We had to call a plumber, and those latkes cost me $350! Happy Hanukkah to me!

Another year, I asked a cashier at the grocery store if she had anything other than Christmas stamps for sale. It was one of the few years I was sending out holiday cards and didn’t want to send them affixed with Santa stamps to everyone on my list. I had to explain to the cashier why Santa was not representative of my holiday, nor were the stamps with the candy canes and decorated pine trees. I don’t think she ever caught on to what I was saying; she just got annoyed. Exasperated, I bought American flag stamps instead. I remember that story often when I’m at the post office and see menorah and kinara stamps available for purchase.

A few weeks ago, I was astounded to find an entire aisle of Hanukkah decorations. A WHOLE AISLE! I stumbled upon it at Home Goods and was floored. Typically, Hanukkah décor is relegated to an end cap or one shelf of dreidels and wrapping paper. You’ve seen them (or maybe you walked right by it). It’s a sad representation of our otherwise joyful holiday. I don’t expect that trend to end anytime soon, and I live in a fairly Jewish neighborhood.

Support the Jewish Community this Hanukkah

This is a tough time for our community as we are witnessing the old adage, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.” It’s actually pretty scary. I have had conversations with friends who are afraid to put menorahs in their windows for fear of retaliation. Even something as simple as a Jewish star necklace or a kippah may be deemed too risky to wear in public these days.

If you want to show your support, look up Project Menorah to print a paper menorah and hang it in your window —even if you aren’t Jewish. For my Jewish friends, take out all your menorahs and light as many as possible to shine a brighter light into the world. And one menorah for the hostages still being held by Hamas, who can’t celebrate this year.

I don’t want to end this post on a sad note, so here are some photos of my family celebrating Hanukkah over the years.

I wish everyone a happy, healthy, and safe holiday season.

XO,
Elisa

2 comments

I have a confession to make. I didn’t finish any books in November.

I started a bunch of them, and they are all in various stages of completion. But I’m going through a dry spell. Most of the books I’m reading at the moment are nonfiction, and I tend to read those books slower than fiction. Typically, I read these books to learn something, and I like absorbing the information before moving forward.

Of course, if the nonfiction book is a celebrity biography or a memoir, all bets are off. I devour those pretty quickly.

For instance, I’m reading “Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection “ by Erica Dhawan, which is about communicating better in a remote working environment. I’m about 120 pages in and am learning how to respond to vague and confusing emails, avoid digital ghosting, and decide if my message should be delivered via email, text, or a phone call. As a Gen-Xer who is not a digital native but wants to communicate effectively with my younger colleagues, I am finding this book extremely helpful.

Other Books I’m Reading

“Hot and Bothered: What No One Tells You About Menopause (and How to Feel Like Yourself Again)” by Jancee Dunn – is about approaching this season of life with information and a sense of humor. Chapter titles range from “Why Did I Walk Into this Room Again?” to “50, Shades of Gray.” I can’t wait to review this one for you next month. 😀
“The Six Minute Memoir: Fifty-Five Short Essays On Life” Mary Helen Stefaniak – I love memoirs and essay collections, and this one doesn’t disappoint. Initially, I bought this for the writing prompts in the back of the book, but as I go through each short chapter, I am enjoying this author’s real-life anecdotes written in great detail.
“On Brand,” by Aliza Licht – I’ve always been interested in developing my personal brand as a writer. While I was working, I didn’t have much time to dedicate to the idea. But now that I have some time on my hands as I look for my next career move, I’m getting a lot out of this book, which offers a beginner’s look at rebranding ourselves and sharing our vision with the world. As a side note, the author is pro-Israel and has fantastic content on Instagram to educate and inform people about Israel and the rise of antisemitism. I highly recommend her book and her platform.

That’s it for the books I’m reading. However, it’s not the end of my book report. There’s more. 🙂

Saying Goodbye to Books I Don’t Want to Read

I’m doing some end-of-year decluttering and decided to dig into my bookshelves. I could seriously start a pop-up bookstore because I have too many books. I found books I forgot I owned. I walk into a room, and there is a book lying on the table or piled up in the corner. I don’t want to treat my books this way. I spent good money on them, and they deserve to be read or put away until I can get to them.

I also found titles that no longer interest me. At the top of my donation pile is a recent best seller I know many people loved: “This Time Tomorrow” by Emily Straub. After several attempts at reading this book and similar time travel stories, I’ve decided this is not the trope for me. To be clear, I enjoy books with different timelines — like a character whose story switches from past to present. This back-and-forth writing doesn’t bother me.

I’m talking about actual time-travel stories involving a protagonist literally going back in time through some strange portal and not knowing how they got there and trying to get home. So many of these books are described as being similar to the movie “Groundhog Day.” I know I’m in the minority here, but I really disliked that movie. For me, reliving the same day repeatedly with slight variations in order to learn a lesson or right a wrong is not how I want to spend my precious reading time. So those books automatically land in my donate pile for someone else to enjoy. And more importantly, I’m giving myself permission to not buy those books, even when the titles get rave reviews.

By the way, if you have a trope you don’t like, I am giving you the go-ahead to make room in your bookshelves for books you know you will love.

What book tropes do you stay away from? Friends to lovers romance novels? World War II stories? Violent plotlines? Children in jeopardy? Let me know in the comments.

Happy reading!