July 2020 archive

Mask Etiquette 101

Yesterday, I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to pick up two hampers for my kids’ bedrooms. They have been using my laundry baskets as an unacceptable substitute, and I needed to do something about it. As I walked toward the cash register, I passed by a young woman and was taken aback. There wasn’t a hint of a mask hanging off her ear or around her neck. Her entire face was uncovered. She confidently walked past me with a look as if she was daring me to call her out on it.

It was such an odd moment. For 49 years, I’ve seen people sans mask in front of me without experiencing a sense of panic. Now, four months into this pandemic, I expect everyone to wear one in a public place.

Is that too much to ask?

And then, I wondered why no one else asked her to put a mask on. We were at the back of the store which means she must have strolled by a few employees before she reached me. Why didn’t anyone say anything? Where is the “mask” police when you need them?

Five minutes later, I remembered I was out of deodorant and made a pit stop 😉 at the beauty aisle. It was there that I saw an older woman bent over the personal fan kiosk talking on her cell phone. Her blue disposable mask served as a chin rest leaving her nose and mouth in plain sight. I wanted to tell her that people can still hear her when she talks through her mask.

But again, I said nothing. I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to get into an argument with these people. I certainly don’t want them yelling in my face spreading their droplets everywhere while pointing out that our president doesn’t wear one so why should they. I just want to politely ask them to respect others around them, not to mention abide by the signs posted everywhere on covering your face.

In these difficult times, it might be helpful to have a manual for wearing face masks and talking to the people who refuse to put them on in your presence. Here are a few do’s and don’ts, I’ve come up with.

Do wear a face mask in public places.

Don’t wear a face mask only on your nose or just your mouth. It has to cover both areas. And FYI, covering your chin doesn’t stop the spread.

Do ask your friends and family if they would prefer you to wear a mask when you come to visit. Don’t assume that they are okay with you not wearing one.

Do stay home if you aren’t feeling well.

Don’t go to Urgent Care without a mask, open the door and yell out to the receptionist – “Do you do COVID testing here?!” (This actually happened to me).

And finally, don’t wear your mask like this – as my son expertly demonstrated to me over the weekend.

Self Care

Mother’s Day weekend 2010.

I remember that it was a gorgeous weekend. The sun was shining, and it was the perfect weekend to sit outside and watch Andrew play baseball. As I walked toward the field carrying the mandatory lawn chair, suntan lotion, Gatorade and snacks, I looked down at my phone to read a text. The next thing I knew, I fell into a large ditch and twisted my left ankle. My belongings scattered except for my chair which I landed on and was now digging into the small of my back. The popping noise was deafening. The pain was real. I tried to stand up but couldn’t move – partly from the throbbing and partly from being in a slight state of shock. Other parents came to my rescue. One person recognized me and ran to get my husband who was coaching just a few yards away.

Baseball would have to wait. Mother’s Day preparations for our annual barbecue would have to wait. We drove to the hospital. I was convinced my ankle was broken, but the x-ray proved otherwise. They sent me home with crutches, a boot and a daily regimen of ice and Advil. Weeks later and still in pain, I went to a sports doctor who diagnosed it as a high ankle sprain – an injury that many athletes endure. He said I was in good company.

Lucky me.

I spent two more months in the boot and then I was cleared to go on with my active life. Ten years later, I can report that my ankle has never been the same. I can’t count how many times I have walked with friends, and my ankle turns inexplicably. I laugh it off and chalk it up to wearing the wrong shoes or tripping over nothing, but it kept on happening. And then a few weeks ago, the dog got out, and I chased after it. Long story short (too late? 😉 ), I fell again and the pain and swelling reappeared.

This time, I didn’t go to the hospital. I made an appointment at the Foot and Ankle Center. These people truly specialize in this area, and I wanted the best. After an MRI, I found out I tore my anterior talo-fibular ligament or ATFL. It was probably already torn from the original injury and never treated properly. Now, I’m going to physical therapy and may or may not need surgery.

Why am I telling you all of this? Well, it makes for a good story, but it isn’t just that. This was a transformative moment or as we like to say to our kids a teachable moment. There is a lesson to be learned here.

In hindsight, I should have insisted on an MRI and a second opinion, but I was too busy. Too busy taking care of my young family, working a full-time job, and putting everyone else’s needs before my own. Self-care was never top of mind. But, as I get older, I am making it more of a priority. If I’ve learned anything from this experience, I need to carve out the time to take care of myself.

Just in case you busy moms out there have forgotten, self-care is any activity we do deliberately to take care of our physical, emotional, or mental health. It is not selfish or indulgent. And it is not a one-time thing. It doesn’t even take a lot of time, and it’s so important to our survival. What it does is recharge your battery, build your resilience, and help avoid burnout. And in my case, it could have saved me years of aggravation dealing with an injury.

Self-care is hard to do, and I’m a “walking example” of that. If you think you are too busy to go to the doctor, you aren’t. Make an appointment. If you think you don’t have time to visit with your friends and family. You do. You have to make the time. If you think you shouldn’t waste time pursuing your passions and interests, you are wrong. If you’ve always wanted to do something for yourself, but never get around to it, ask yourself why and then make a plan.

Self-care is about giving people the best of you, not what’s left of you.

What does self-care look like for you? And how will you carve out time in your schedule for it?

Bookworms Unite!

I have this stack of unread books sitting on my nightstand. Sometimes, I feel them watching me, no begging me, to pick one up and start reading right now. I silently tell them to BACK OFF! They have to be patient. I’m only one person with one pair of eyes, and I can’t read any faster!

The real problem is that I have already overcommitted myself to a separate pile of books. According to Goodreads, I’m in the middle of four different books right now. And on Audible, I am listening to two more. And my book club is meeting this week, so I am really focused on one book right now – The Giver of Stars, by Jojo Moyes.

Mind you, none of this stops me from the vicious, yet fulfilling, cycle of reading book reviews and summer reading lists and then downloading more books or frequently “supporting” independent bookstores.

And here’s why: What if the books I already own disappoint me? Shouldn’t I have “back up” books to fill the void?

Do I sound crazy? Probably. But, don’t worry. I don’t need any kind of cognitive test to tell me what I already know. I’m a bookworm, and I won’t apologize for it. When I was little, I’d go to bed with a Nancy Drew mystery or a Sweet Valley High book and a flashlight under my pillow and read way past my bedtime. Some kids wanted Barbie dolls for their birthdays. I wanted B. Dalton gift certificates. Years later, not much has changed. I still go to bed with a book and a flashlight; it’s called a Kindle.

I always have to have a book in my purse or in my car. I can’t bear to waste valuable time sitting in a waiting room or a carpool line not reading. And now, thanks to COVID, People magazines are no longer available anymore for communal reading. Therefore, I must be prepared for any reading emergency.

What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good story. How about you?

 

 

 

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