At night, I hear laughter coming from her bedroom as she cracks up over an episode of Friends. At night, I hear the pages of her textbook turning as she pours over her notes for tomorrow’s test. At night, I hear the rustle of the paper she tears out of her notebook that disturbs an otherwise quiet house. At night, I hear her Face Timing with her friends. At night, I hear her yell for me when she needs a form signed or wants to borrow my hair dryer. In less than a year, I won’t hear any of this because she will be away at college and I’ll hear none of the above coming from her bedroom.
January 2019 archive
Sorry, I’m Booked
spent this chilly Sunday morning taking inventory of my bookshelves. With my new goal of not buying new books this year intact, I wanted to reacquaint myself with the books I already purchased. All 89 of them. That’s right, 89 books. This includes all of what can be found on my bookshelf and what is currently downloaded onto my Kindle. And now that I have that big number in my head, I won’t buy another book for quite some time. I’m not even going to calculate how much this habit of collecting books has cost me, but if you’ve ever purchased a book, you can do the math. (However, in my defense, most of the books are in paperback). So, what books are these? Here is a breakdown:
- 35 popular fiction selections
- 20 leadership and business books
- 18 titles with words of wisdom and encouragement from fellow writers
- 16 random books that fit into various categories
You know how when you want to lose weight, you put a number on the fridge of how much you want to lose to stop yourself from eating anything that is bad for you? (Am I the only one that does this?). Well, I’m going to find a way to do something along those lines with my Amazon account. I’ve even unsubscribed from any social media page that touts book lists in front of my eyes. And when I pass by the local Barnes & Noble, I will repeat the number in my head until I am a safe distance from the premises. I’ve gone cold turkey. Meanwhile, back to my bookshelves…there is good news. Actually, great news! There are some fantastic books in my possession. I can’t wait to finally dive into The Hate U Give and Crazy Rich Asians (both of which I’ve been waiting to read before seeing the movie). I’m looking forward to cracking open the two marketing titles from well-known business writers Dan & Chip Heath. I keep hearing how amazing they are, and I haven’t yet had the pleasure of soaking in their expertise. And of course, my “can’t-live-without-but-apparently-have-had-no-time-to-read” books about my passion for writing. There is so much there that I need to absorb. If you want to see my book list, friend me on Goodreads, but please don’t recommend any titles to me. I’m not sure I’m strong enough yet to resist the temptation. https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/6205627
College-Level Advice
For the last two years, we have visited several college campuses looking for the right fit for our daughter as she moves into the next stage of her life. We toured large universities and smaller colleges. Some of them in or near major cities and others out in the sticks. We’ve spoken to guidance counselors, admissions counselors, and yes, even my own counselor (a.k.a. my therapist). Just like any other phase of parenthood, you will receive a lot of advice about this journey. While advice was always appreciated, there will be times when we just wanted to figure it out on our own. And I think that is the best tip I can give to those just starting on this adventure—listen to what others tell you but follow your child’s lead. Although you didn’t realize it, over the last 18 years you have raised them for this moment. Know that you brought them up right with a good head on their shoulders and a set of values that you have given them. Trust that your child knows what they want and what they don’t want. Let them lead. My favorite part of this whole process has been visiting campuses and discussing them on the car ride home. I loved listening to her weigh the pros and cons of each place, considering the location, the community, the academic and social life and the overall “feel” each place offers. And all this time, I’ve admired the maturity she has shown in her decision-making. All along, the only piece of advice I bestowed upon her was what I have told her all her life—go with your gut. I find this is a wonderful mantra for any decision one makes in life. Her gut will tell her what is right and what is wrong for her. If she isn’t happy and confident in her choices, then problems will surely follow. The moment she stepped on Towson’s campus; she knew it was the right place for her. She made a point of meeting the local admissions representative every time she came to our area to learn as much as possible about the community. When the admissions staff called her up to the stage this past fall to tell her in person that she was accepted, the open house became a welcome home. And when she told us that when she thinks of herself at college, she saw herself at Towson, we knew it was the right place for her. So, my unsolicited, but well-meaning, advice to you as you go through this amazing time in your lives as parents is to let your child take the lead. Whether they want to live in a big city or out in the sticks, small college, large university, community college, military, trade school, or whatever, let them go with their gut and they will wind up exactly where they were always supposed to be.