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Posts Tagged ‘#writerslife’

Life Without A Manual: The Reboot?

When I’m asked about the name of my blog and its origin story, I immediately think back to a lousy parenting moment I had with my teenage daughter in the high school parking lot. You can read the whole story here, but in a nutshell, it was then that I truly wished I was handed over a parenting manual in the delivery room along with my baby.

And thus, a blog was born.

But now that my daughter is in college and my son is graduating high school this year, I feel like I need a new origin story or perhaps a reboot. Sure, there are still plenty of opportunities for me to embarrass my kids and feel bad about it, but maybe the focus should be more about my life than theirs.

Here’s the problem. I don’t know what that looks like or where I fit into the blogosphere. I continue to insist that I am way too young for AARP. I resent the fact that once I turned 50 last year, I automatically became a member of their target audience. I considered their invitation for a minute – complete with a membership card, magazine subscription, and all the retirement swag you can imagine. But, once I saw articles like “Putting Your Digital Assets in Your Will,” and “How Pets Influence Older Homeowners Real-Estate Choices,” I politely declined.

AARP must want me to join real bad. They won’t stop trying to win me over. For instance, the editors put Michael J. Fox on the cover of their magazine last month. Talk about a cheap shot! Sorry, but you can’t win me over with 80’s celebrities who were once pinned to my bedroom wall and are now pushing 60. Oy, the humanity!!

(Full disclosure: I still didn’t join, but I did read the article).

Back to my original thought, I hope this blog challenge will help me cultivate two things – a daily writing habit and, potentially, a new focus for my blog that allows me the space to write as my authentic self.

If any fellow writers have been through this kind of transition before, I’d love to hear from you and any advice you may have for me. And if you are just reading this now, what topics would you like to see me write about in the future? I look forward to your comments. I read and respond to them all. 🙂

My 2022 Word of the Year

I learned a long time ago that New Years’ resolutions don’t resonate with me. I make them, and I break them without a second thought. There are a few reasons for this. For starters, resolutions are typically too broad. Lose weight. Get organized. Write more. Volunteer often. Yes, I could drill down each of these statements with smaller steps, an overall plan, and a foreseeable goal. And then, to seal the deal, I would find the perfect app to accompany it.

To be honest, I already have the steps, plans, goals, and apps in place. And I’m working through each of these goals slowly but steadily. So, what do I need resolutions for? To commit to the same things I committed to last year? Seems a little silly to me.

Nevertheless, I like to jump on a good bandwagon, and writers have the perfect tradition for this. We pick a word of the year. Instead of making resolutions, we challenge ourselves to find a word that encompasses the kind of focus we want to achieve year-round.

It’s a pretty tall order, but I highly recommend it, especially if you aren’t a resolutions person.

Just to recap, in 2018, picked the word “coffee” and vowed to meet up with people to have coffee and catch up, network, or just for laughs. That was a fun year. I can’t find the word I chose in 2019, but for 2020, it was “believe,” and last year’s word was “today.”

For 2022, I wanted to pick something that motivates me and inspires me to grow and change for the better. Who better to turn to for inspiration than author and motivational speaker Brene Brown. She once said, “connection is why we’re here. It is what gives purpose and meaning in our lives.”

I agree with this on so many levels. What are we here for if not to find purpose and meaning in our lives? So, my word of the year is CONNECT. It speaks to me for several reasons. Here are a few of them.

Personally Speaking

For the past few years, I’ve said that I have a book in me. I am finally getting that book down on paper. In order to write a book, you have to connect on a deeper level with yourself, your past, and your future. This is what I have been doing for the last year with the help of the writing community, where I am an active participant. Soon enough, I will connect the dots on my story and hopefully be fortunate enough to share it with the rest of the world.

I will also start a new chapter in my life later this year as an empty nester. Both of my kids will be in college, which will be quite an adjustment. I admit that I’m feeling a bit anxious about it. But, I am combatting that anxiety by connecting on a different and exciting new level with my husband and my semi-adult children.

While I’m looking forward to the personal growth that will bring me, I’m also not rushing it. I plan to be present for all the special occasions and little parenting moments I can collect until I have to drop Andrew off at college.

Professionally Speaking

From a career perspective, I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for the people I’ve met along the way. I have an excellent professional support system made up of mentors, colleagues, friends, and family who continue to encourage and inspire me. I am so grateful to them, and in 2022, I want to reconnect with them, help them in their journey, and see where that leads. Networking has never been a chore for me. I thrive on meeting and learning from new people. LinkedIn was a big part of that when I was looking for a job. Now, I want to look for opportunities where I can share my expertise, continue learning, and give back to those who have been so good to me.

A Word on Disconnecting

When I think about connecting with what’s most important to me in 2022, it also helps to recognize what makes me unhappy. In 2020, I left a toxic work environment for a much more supportive one. This made all the difference in my life this past year. I’m much happier, healthier, and better for it. And now I know that life is too short for jobs, people, and things that don’t bring us joy.

I also want to disconnect from doom-scrolling on social media and watching hours and hours of news programs. I’ve been a news junkie all my life, but it has not served me well lately. At this point, I’m scared of the pandemic, the politics, and the pandemic politics. I want to be informed but need to find more balance here. And sometimes it is better to unplug from all of that shit instead – with the exception of Jake Tapper and all of the late-night talk show hosts. They still bring me plenty of joy.

I will also continue disconnecting from the world for a while with a good book. I read 30 books in 2021 and set a new Goodreads goal for 35 books in the new year. I’d actually like to read more than that, but we will see what happens. I also learned to DNF (do not finish) books that I can’t get into the story. Again, life is too short.

One More Thing

This post is the start of a new blog challenge for me – the Ultimate Blog Challenge consists of 31 posts in 31 days. Some days I’ll have plenty to say, and other days I may post a photo or a quick story. I hope you will read, comment, and share your stories with me too. Don’t want to miss a blog post? Subscribe above to get a post in your inbox every day!

Happy New Year! Let’s connect!

XO,
Elisa

 

The Write Space

When Jenna left for college, I decided to use her room as my office. Knowing she would be back for winter and spring breaks and summertime, I only took over her desk.

 

Still, her room is a prime piece of real estate in our house. And it’s been a long time since I had a quiet place all to myself. Using her room also had the added benefit of giving me a reason to go in there on a regular basis. When I spent time in her room, I felt her presence in our home while she was away at school. I didn’t like how dark and clean it was all the time. So, repurposing her room into my indoor “she shed” made sense to me.

It didn’t take long to set it up. I found a new home for her bat mitzvah centerpiece from six years ago and cleared out a drawer of her miscellany. I cleaned out my overflowing bookshelves of every writing book I own and relocated them to her shelf. Underneath her camp photos and school track ribbons, I set up my laptop, brought in my favorite pens and blank journals and got to work.

Every night, I closed her bedroom door, put on my music and let the waves of creativity drown me. And when I was cursed with writer’s block, I’d lie down on her queen-size bed and read a book or take a nap. It was the perfect office space for me.

And then the pandemic hit us all. School closed for the semester, and I had to relinquish my coveted writing space back to her. Now, my current “office” is wherever I put my laptop. My choices are sitting on my own bed with a blue Yogibo pillow chair propped up for my back or sitting on a barstool at my kitchen counter. Neither one of these spaces is ideal. There is no place to put my writing books and prompt decks. I can’t leave out my favorite pens because they will most definitely disappear. And yes, I admit that I’m a bit of a snob about what pens I use for writing. I just can’t write from my heart with a cheap promo pen from Weight Watchers in my hand.

This may sound completely crazy to many of you who read this, but I know my fellow bloggers will understand.

E.B. White once said, “A writer who waits for ideal conditions under which to work will die without putting a word on paper.”

He’s probably right. Truthfully, it doesn’t matter where I write. But before the pandemic, I was etching out a solid writing routine. And now, I miss being able to go to a dedicated space where my only focus is putting words on the page. The kitchen is a high traffic area and not a great place for one to concentrate.

Once we are free from quarantine, I’m sure I’ll find a nice neighborhood coffee shop to support where I can sit and create something special. And soon enough, both my kids will leave the nest, and I’ll have my choice of writing desks.

I’m not in any rush, but having that writing space was nice for a while.

 

 

 

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