A Memo On Winter Coats

Dearest Family,

Now that the first snow has fallen and the temperatures have dropped significantly, I want to reacquaint you with a wonderful, state-of-the-art feature that came with our house. I understand that after two seasons of warmer weather and a lovely fall, you may have forgotten its purpose and existence.

Drumroll, please…

Meet the coat closet! This special place conveniently located in our front foyer is set behind two sliding doors and well equipped with everything you need to hang up your winter jackets. Over the past year, management has taken great care to retire the hangers that no longer serve a purpose. They include but are not limited to the bent, metal ones that could poke your eye out and the cheap versions that came from the local dry cleaners. These hangers have been replaced with new and improved versions that I believe you will find to be highly qualified and to your liking.

And, if I may be so bold, consider taking an extra minute to zip up your coat after placing it on the hanger to ensure that it doesn’t wind up on the floor.

Please note that management will no longer tolerate the aforementioned coats being thrown in places such as (but again not limited to) – the seating bench in the foyer, all of the couches, the red swivel chair, or the dining room table. Winter coats left on your bedroom floors will also not be searched for or retrieved by management when you submit a request for me to find them. I have determined that this responsibility is well below my pay grade.

By performing this simple but important task, you can continue to play a crucial role in contributing to the overall beautification of our living space.

Management greatly appreciates (and wholeheartedly insists upon) your cooperation in this matter.

Thank you.


Elisa (the “management”)


13 comments on A Memo On Winter Coats

  1. Glenda Cates
    January 12, 2022 at 9:30 am (5 months ago)

    Thank you for sharing and I agree although I do not have a Coat Closet, I bought a Hall Rack for Coats and Hats that sits inside the door but no, one seems to use it. I think from no, on when I find something that isn’t where it should be its going into a Trash Can and the only way to retrieve it is to buy it back and I will use the money at the end of the year for something fun or a Vacation for the family depending on how much money I collect.

  2. Robert Krantweiss
    January 8, 2022 at 10:11 am (5 months ago)

    Even though the picture that you chose to go with your article is probably worth a thousand words, it was not able to bring out the several chuckles and noted clever sarcasm that highlighted your article.

    • Elisa
      January 8, 2022 at 12:23 pm (5 months ago)

      Thanks, Dad. 🙂

  3. Cherry-Ann
    January 8, 2022 at 3:14 am (5 months ago)

    Ohh… that’s a cutting memo. Love it! Who could wholeheartedly refuse to cooperate? Lol

    • Elisa
      January 8, 2022 at 8:36 am (5 months ago)

      Thanks! I decided to write this after hanging up SIX coats found in various locations around the house. I’m not convinced that it will do any good, but at least I made my point.

  4. Karen Sammer
    January 7, 2022 at 9:42 pm (5 months ago)

    I do love a snarky love letter to the other occupants of the house…well written and very funny. Thanks for sharing.

    • Elisa
      January 8, 2022 at 8:37 am (5 months ago)

      Thanks, Karen! 🙂

  5. Tamara
    January 7, 2022 at 8:55 pm (5 months ago)

    Hahaha, sometimes folks need to be reminded of the seemingly simplest things, right? How many males in your family again?

    • Elisa
      January 8, 2022 at 8:37 am (5 months ago)

      I have a son and my husband, but my daughter is also a major offender in this arena. LOL

  6. Kebba Buckley Button
    January 7, 2022 at 8:03 pm (5 months ago)

    Elisa, fantastic! You tell them! In Phoenix, there are very few front hall closets, and you cannot check your coat at the Opera or theater. When I was a child, my elementary school (Delaware) had cloakrooms, which were needed much of the year. So I was surprised initially, on moving to the desert, that if you wore your coat into a public place, you had to hold it in your lap. Thanks for a great post!

    • Elisa
      January 8, 2022 at 8:39 am (5 months ago)

      LOL, Kebba. Thanks! I remember those cloakrooms too having grown up in New Jersey. Interesting that Phoenix doesn’t have them, but then again – why would you. Maybe someday I’ll live in a place where coats are completely unnecessary.

  7. Martha
    January 7, 2022 at 7:44 pm (5 months ago)

    LOL I love this! I may just have to borrow it!

    • Elisa
      January 8, 2022 at 8:39 am (5 months ago)

      Feel free to borrow it and thanks for sharing it!

%d bloggers like this: